Turning it around...

farmmum · #1 (**permalink**) 22-06-2007, 10:50 PM

Here's a bit of writing from my journal the other night.........

I started to write tonight because I felt like I needed an outlet. For my tiredness, my lack of enthusiasm or fun in my life at the moment, how life is so busy that I get no time for myself , that dh and I are so busy we are just like ships passing in the night, my sadness at having had another c-section etc etc..........
However it just occured to me that I can turn things around tonight.....think about the roof over my head, the food in my belly, my hard-working gorgeous husband and my two beautiful daughters.(oh it makes me go to jelly just writing that.....my two beautiful daughters....)
How the future holds so much promise.Promise and joy in growing as a family, as a couple and as an individual and mother.
I cannot change the past, it's gone.
I cannot predict the future, it is yet to be.
What I can do is to LIVE NOW in the present.

Rinelle · #2 (**permalink**) 22-06-2007, 10:53 PM

Excellent advice Bec.

Eilleen · #3 (**permalink**) 22-06-2007, 10:53 PM

What a wonderful and uplifting moment. Its those "aha" moments that can really make life something to be excited about, huh. Thanks for sharing Bec!

farmmum · #4 (**permalink**) 22-06-2007, 11:04 PM

Yeah thats just it Eilleen, I went from thinking my life was so dull and crappy to realising that it could be a beautiful and magical journey and what miracles my two little ones actually are and what a special relationship I have with dh.....The real hard bit is just to keep that frame of mind now!

mumma+me · #5 (**permalink**) 26-06-2007, 03:40 AM

Oh, that makes me feel goosey just reading it!

Perhaps don't fight the need to hang on to 'that frame of mind', just let it be a boost and be ready to go on?

iykwim?

Beautiful, thanks for sharing!

katiekins108 · #6 (**permalink**) 07-09-2007, 11:27 PM

i don't want to sound like a downer at all....but i am not coping....i have been trying to think like you farmmum...especially because i am so so very fortunate in my life (touch wood) and i know this...i don't want for anything really but i just can't shake off this anger and frustration! just so much negativity-which is not me at all-i am a very positive person usually. i am so unhappy towads my husband-like i just hate him! (his not even a bad person-maybe a bit obsessed with his music-which i get unhappy that he has that outlet). i have been getting cross at my two and a half year old ans 6month old which breaks my heart and spirit-they are both beautiful like sunshine (maybe one doesn't listen and the other wants to be held 24hours) but i love them so much that it hurts that i feel this way...just like i am stuck-so stuck-i want to cry scream hide and feel guitly and numb at the same time.....is it because i am only 23 and am trying to grow up myself???? or do i need profesional help?? where have i gone???
anyone please some golden words of wisdom?
katie

katiekins108 · #7 (**permalink**) 07-09-2007, 11:41 PM

ok just one more note before i'm off to bed

i really hope i didn't sound like a complete unappreciative git!! i know i am SO lucky, i just feel really low and can't seem to get back up...i want to love and enjoy my life!! so yeah hope you guys know where i'm coming from

kt

Lavender · #8 (**permalink**) 07-09-2007, 11:43 PM

HI Katie, I am sorry to hear that things are so rough for you at the moment. Could you be suffering for Post Natal Depression?
I did a quick search and came up with this thread which has helped a few people as it contains some great ideas and stories from other members who have or still are going through it.
http://www.forums.naturalparenting.c...ression&page=2
I would love to see you repost your post in a thread in health issues as more people will see it and respond to it there.
This is a wonderfully supportive community for you to share your load with.
Blessings, you are not alone.

mama_bel · #9 (**permalink**) 08-09-2007, 05:24 PM

Have either of you, Bec or Katie, ever kept an appreciation or gratitude journal? I kept one for a few years, and get back into it now whenever the need arises. I used to write down 5 things EVERY night - preferably different things than I'd written before - and going to sleep feeling grateful really made a difference to how I awoke in the morning...

I bought a nice pen and tiny journal especially for expressing gratitude. Sometimes I stuck a little photo or something in it too.

Hugs to you both. xx

farmmum · #10 (**permalink**) 08-09-2007, 09:36 PM

Oh yes, I kept an appreciation journal which really helped with holding on to the good in each day, rather than going to be exhausted , burnt out and resentful.
Katie, so sorry to hear that you are feeling low. The appreciation journal is a good start, I also found Stephanie Dowricks books a great help.
I was never "diagnosed" with PND , but I went through a really rough patch when dd1 was born till she was about 10 months old.Alot of it was sleep deprivation but alot was like you said "growing up".Learning that it wasn't "all about me" anymore but that it still could be "all about me" sometimes without feeling guilty about it!
Most of all if you are having trouble , seek help! It's a great start to come here, but there is lots of help out there. From friends to professionals.(I saw a womens health counsellor about my birth trauma and it was the best thing I couldv'e done, just one session and I was back on track!)
Keep on posting and we are all here for you on your journey! Bec