how well do you know yourself?

[mummabare]

Is it possible that there are some people in the world, who know you better then you know yourself? Or they know aspects of you, that you dont want to admit to or hide even from yourself?

I just keep wondering....have you met someone you feel you have *known* in another life, or in another place....

Im working through some feelings about someone, how uncomfortable they make me because they pick up on things that most people dont, its very confronting but at the same time...part of me is relieved that someone would know me that well.

what are your thoughts?

xxx

[craftymum]

yep! I married him

but I have met a woman who could see straight through me, she had this 6th sense (I have a similiar sense) but not with her but I alway felt naked around her and never knew how to have a conversation with her cause I felt like she already knew what I would say

[mummabare]

maybe I married the wrong guy

[skn]

There have been a couple people I have meet where I have a connection like that. One is a very close friend of mine and we understand each other so well. Infact she was the first person I met who really understood me. Another was this guy who I was madly infatuated with. We didn't really know each other too well (just a fling), but we were both good at reading each other...it was really uncanny. Though I look at it and think if I was with him, I doubt I'd grow too much as a person, you know?

[~*Nile*~]

My DH knows me well, but it's more me that knows him more than he knows himself. I know exactly what he's thinking, what he's going to say next and what he's going to do. Partly I think it has to do with the fact we've been together 11 years and known each other 13, partly I just know him.

I admit sometimes it annoys me that I know DH so well and can interpret his body language, but he's not as in tune with me. Maybe b/c he's male and doesn't pick up on those queues. He does know me pretty well though, and I find that reassuring and predictable in a good way.

[Meridith]

I admit sometimes it annoys me that I know DH so well and can interpret his body language, but he's not as in tune with me. Maybe b/c he's male and doesn't pick up on those queues.

Gee...I could have written that! I shall add that with my DH I pick up on things re him that he isn't even aware of (and would possibly never be, if not for me).

I have had a few friends who have been really good at 'getting' me, but I can't remember finding it threatening. Two friends in particular were really good and getting right to the point for me and defining what I knew I needed to do/think/say/etc but couldn't define for myself. I actually really miss having a friendship as comfortable as that.

I do find my mother threatening, but that is because (I think, I'm still working on this one!) what she sees she tends to put in a judegement, not an observation, and she doesn't see all of it iykwim. It's like her observations of my teen years...apparently I withdrew and was 'sneaky', but she doesn't see it as me trying to make my own decisions (like withdrawing from uni...that was a big one), or being abused and not knowing what to do - neither of my parents know that one yet.

Sorry, OT.

I do get what you're saying, Kristi. I often wonder how well I know myself. At this point in my life I feel like I am more honest with myself than I have ever felt safe to be, but I am less open with the majority of people than I used to. There is stuff that while I am very aware of it - I won't share, it's just not safe - but I know that is what is going on inside of me so it's ok.

Maybe because of my increased self-awareness, with exception to my mother, I don't feel threatened by people knowing me too well. I do get hurt by people who don't really know me presuming they do - iykwim. But maybe I don't know enough people atm to really answer this!

[mama_bel]

I understand what you're saying, Kristi. I find it really scary for people to be able to see through me like that. Like there's nowhere to hide. Not that I want to hide, but it's a very vulnerable space to be in...

Lilsmum, I'm like that with my hubby, finishing sentences, reminding him of things I know he's forgotten and just very in synch. It's boring sometimes! And occasionally it annoys him. And there's no way he's nearly as tuned in to me.

[rebjm]

I had a work mate (female that i wasn't that close to) point put something about me at a after works drinks thing that i hadn't realised about myself. But it made so much sense. It was uncanny.

[Meridith]

Y'know, I've been thinking about this recently. I don't think I expose myself (personality-wise) to enough people to really be able to answer. I am deliberately choosing to be sheltered from too much social interaction because I think I know I will find it too challenging atm if anyone does really see through me iykwim. I do have a few people who I trust gretly who know me very well...but I don't feel like they know me better than I know myself.

My main fear about people 'seeing' me is that there are people (like the example I used before with my mother) who use their insight - right or wrong - as a chance to pass condemnation, critisize or generally try to 'fix' you.

[mummabare]

It would be a rare male that would be that intune, and yet Ive stumbled across a few that I would dare say are more intune then many of my female friends....or is it my brain is wired differently or something?

But I definately know what you mean meridith, I had one friend (well my husbands but he is an "I can see right through you person" ) and we have known each other for as long as I have been with my DH. But he can be soo critical...and I wondered if it is because I hold opinion highly that I feel condemned....hmmm...to delve into the recesses of my mind lol!

I can think of one time when I was particularly cruel in a comment to a woman, and he ws soo quick to pull me up on it. I was irritable and it was out of character, but he certainly let me know that I had hurt the womans feelings and I had to go and apologize to her (like 5 times for my behaviour), and not because he had told me too but just because of the way he spoke to me.

That I should have known better to talk to someone like that so harsh, and he was completely right, I had no right to talk to someone that way, so I bawled on the way home because not only did I KNOW that I had done the wrong thing, but because someone who I really did consider to be a good friend was disappointed in me.....I really did beat myself up over it and hated him for a week for bloody knowing that I would feel guilty .......grrr....

ahh well, humble pie I probably needed it huh.