I am struggling

[mysonryan]

I feel that my life is in need of direction. Yet I do not enjoy the feeling of following a religion.

Right now I am reading a little about Buddhism, since the Christian/Jewish/Muslim train of thought does not sit well with me. But I feel as though I am balanced on the edge of a whirlpool and if I step towards Buddhism I will be sucked into that whirlpool, unable to resurface.

I do not know what has caused this feeling. Buddhism sits closest to my thoughts on life, the universe and everything, but as I read this book (Buddhism for Mothers) I get that "being pulled/sucked in" feeling and it scares me. I am finding through my reading that I already do many of the things suggested, eg. being mindful, I have even been meditating regularly for a decade without realising that's what I was doing (well, that it was called meditating).

Please share your thoughts on how you felt when you were starting down that path of a religion, whatever religion it was that you chose.

[mummabare]

I guess you could say Alice I follow my own religion. I have pulled things from various places that sit well with me, pieces of wicca, pieces of ethnogenic shamanism, my own aboriginal heritage and some buddhism....

mostly I find that religious writing just has ways of expressing and clarifying what I already believe....I also find that not belonging to one particular "religion" as such gives me freedom in my spirituality.

much love

Kristi
xxx

[liamsmum02]

Maybe you just have to change your thinking - it's not like by reading about buddhism and practising some of the things they believe in means that you are signing up for life. It's not like some cult that will engulf your life and start to take over.

Buddhism is quite good in this sense because I feel like they are quite open to people who want to explore and are ok with people who don't want to pursue it as a lifelong commitment. I also think that it is such an involved process to becoming enlightened and requires a lot of thought and commitment that it's not something that can be forced on you or entered into lightly.

That's the way I feel about it anyway. I am very interested in Buddhism and want to learn more but am not ready to take the step to do anything outside of home and books yet.

Hope this helps!

[Karma]

Oh sweetie everything you say makes perfect sense.

If you are happy just to take your journey in your own stride then do so cause this life is about you and not who!

We don't need to follow any one anything we have free will and can pick out what we want out of all of them and apply everything we do in life to what parts fit us the best. No rules!!!


I don't have a religion I just have my own beliefs! And I am best happy with that cause I do not feel obligated to anybody else. Does that make sense?

Follow where your heart feels more comfy!

[emd]

There's a book called "Why Buddhism" by Vicki someone that really put it in perspective for me. Buddhism is not a cult thing, it's just something that works for some Western folk. You're welcome to borrow my copy if you like.

[jezza]

I can relate in not having a clear sense of a path to follow. I also find that exploring the spiritual dimension of life can be a scary thing. Sometimes when I start to ask questions I find that the answers that I find plausible are not very reassuring.

I keep trying to start another sentence to explain this more, but realise I'm not really clear enough in my own head about some of this yet. Just wanted to say that I can identify with some of what you are saying.

[Eilleen]

I think that any journey out of your comfort zone can be scary and I think that going outside your emotional comfort zone is probably one of the scariest journeys.

Buddhism is there for you to help you guide your path. It is *not* the path. Use whatever will free you.

For me, Buddhism was like a homecoming and have found that practising freed me. At the same time, early in my practise, there were times during meditation when I didn't like what I saw in me. Perhaps that is what is happening too? An increased awareness of things you would rather not see? I have learnt not to shy away from those things and am starting to learn how to embrace them and how to protect myself.

Anyway, just my thoughts. As Buddha said, do not accept anything until *you* know it to be true.

Wishing you well in your spiritual journey.

[hanabi]

Do you really need a *spiritual* journey at all?

I have found liberty in rejecting all belief systems. That's not to say I'm never moved in ways that others might describe as 'spiritual' but to me it's all 'emotion', 'thought', 'gratitude', or whatever that I don't have to attribute to anything outside my own learning and experience.

[casm]

I grew up in a cult so I can understand how you might feel scared to be "pulled in" to something. I agree with what's been said here in terms of just do what you want and don't worry about diving in and embracing it all.

My spiritual life is a deep connection with God on a personal level and has nothing to do with religion (all the trimmings, church imposed values etc). I do attend church to worship my God and seek ministry (prayer and comfort when the chips are down) and provide ministry but when our Pastor at church gets up and starts telling us to go out and help save people I start to feel the same way (like I don't want to be sucked in)... although, I believe that if you live what you believe you can truly help people IYKWIM... so I'm striving for that and feeling just fine about that fact I often fail because I feel no condemnation, just acceptance... just pick up and keep going I guess.

There can be a wonderful peace in following your heart and believing in something if it rings true.

All the best,

Cas

[mysonryan]

Some very interesting and useful replies here. Thank you all.

BTW I do not view Buddhism as a cult at all! I meant "sucked in" in an emotional sense, not a physical "you must pray/eat/do" sense. Just wanted to clarify that.

I do have my own, um, thoughts on life that have drawn on my knowledge of many religions, but mostly on my own musings. They are well developed and I am comfortable with those. But I am also an angry and sometimes unfriendly person.

I really want to live a happier life, but it seems that all religions promise the world, yet it is such a difficult path to take towards adopting any of them. It feels like all religions offer forgiveness for 'sins/bad thoughts' etc which to me a seems like you can do anything and get away with anything so long as you are sorry. How is that right? Perhaps I am just too cynical of the world.

I am definitely a scared, sad and lonely soul.

I used to find strength in my solitary self. Yet now that I have the pressure of being a single parent (the ex would get mad if I called myself a sole parent) I find that I actually do need community support because I am guiding two people through life, myself and my son. I feel as though I cannot make a mistake with spirituality or I will affect his life too.

Have I placed too much pressure on myself? Will his soul be ok if neglected of all things spiritual?