Our Precious Angel

[Angelsmum]

Our Precious Angel

---

Quote:
Originally Posted by Genie
In the lovely photos you share, Madi doesn't look unwell at all.
I hope I'm not stepping over the line by asking this, but when did you find out she had her condition? Did she suddenly become ill, or did you always know?

Sorry, if it hurts too much to talk about her condition, just ignore this post if it upsets you (((HUG)))

I thought I would share this story with you all.

Madison-Belle was born on May 25th 200 by emergency c section,after 53 hours of natural (drug free)labour.She was so beautiful, big sparkly grey eyes, perfect skin and a cute little button nose. She looked just like her Dad. She had Talipes on her left foot, as she was sitting in a funny position inside, which would need plaster to correct it, but she was still perfect. Born weighing 5 pounds 11 ounces she was our tiny precious little Angel. And that she was.

From the moment she was 2 weeks old, she was alert, making eye contact and it just seemed she had been here before.

Madison-Belle was never unwell, she was always a happy pleasant little girl. As she got older we noticed she had a bit of a wease (stridor) when she was playing or getting excited, I took her to 4 doctors and they told me it sounded like an immature larynxy of floppy voice box. Just for peace of mind we took her to a specialist who suggested it may be a straweberry birth mark in her trachea that may need to be removed. The stridor never bothered her and she never looked short of breath or anything, so I was just hoping it was an immature larynx that would grow stronger with time.

On AUgust 31st we had an appointment at the Royal CHildrens Hospital for Madi to have a broncoscopy to make sure there was no strawberry birthmark in her airways. DH and I slept there with her the night before as the nurses needed to monitor her breathing before the procedure in the morning. I slept on an armchair with DH by my side and DD in my arms, and that was the last night I held her as my healthy happy little girl.

After the procedure, they noticed she had an ilness called tracheal bronchial stenosis. This is where the airways or trachea and your bronchi (the tubes that go to your lungs) dont grow with your body. She came out of the anesthetic ok and we were sent back up to the ward for observation.

That afternoon, not long after her test, Madi-B went blue and could not breath. I was holding her and Dh buzzed for a nurse. She was taken from my arms and rushed down to ICU on oxygen. By the time DH and I were allowed in to see her, there she was, our little girl, tubes everywhere in an induced coma and on a life support machine. Never again were we to see her smile, her big grey eyes or hear her laugh again. That night we were told there was nothing they could do for her and we had to let her go. We slept by her bedside every night for a whole week, whlst our immediate family wrote emails, made phonecalls and had conferenes with Surgeons all over the world, in hope that maybe someone could save our little girl.

There is no research done on this illness it is quite rare, so, after one week of praying and hoping for a miracle, we baptised our little girl and let everyone say their goodbyes so we may let her rest in peace.

On wednesday 7th September, still in a coma, Dh gave her her last feed through a tube, I bathed my little girl, did her hair, and dressed her in a pretty white dress. I held her in my arms and we both farewelled Madi with love as the nurses turned of her life support. WE held her and cried for hours, till we had to say goodbye forever. It was definetly by far the worst week of our entire lives, but we wouldnt take back one minute of our time with her for the world.

On Sunday September 11th, Tony and I went and dressed our litte girl for a viewing and the funeral. She wore a white dress that was once mine as a baby, with pretty white socks and shoes. We wrapped her in a shawl that was also mine as a baby and put a gold neklace around her neck with 2 butterfly charms on it to which DH and I wear the matching half to. Again I had her and cried and cried and cried. This was the last time I was to dress and hold her forever, and after alot of support from DH I finally gave her back to the funeral attendant and said Goodbye.

The funeral was held on the MOnday after. She lay in a baby pink coffin with her name around the side in colored letters. The service was beautiful, although I had to leave a couple of times as I was being sick in the toilets. We wrote a Eulogy which my sister in law read and played a video of Madi-B's grwoing years.

In September 2004, we conceived a tiny life. For 10 months we felt every kick, every hiccup, every stretch. Every movement was exciting. We couldn’t wait to meet our baby girl.



On 25th May 2005, after 53 hours of labour and an emergency ceserean, at 6:24pm a beautiful little angel was born, a messenger sent from God, to change our lives, and that she did,



Little Madison-Belle was so alert from day one. From shopping centers to restaraunts and the soccer, everyone stopped us to comment on how beautiful she was. Her long eyelashes, baby smiles and bubbly personality touched everyone. Even strangers. “ she has been in this world before” they would say.



We had many visits to the Children’s Hospital where she was put in plaster to correct Talipes on her left foot. She was very brave. She had a wardrobe full of jumpsuits that Nanny had to alter for her little Munchkin by chopping off the feet and re stitching them, just so little Madi could wear them.



Her first smile was on 23rd June, while she was playing with mummy. She was a happy baby with bright sparkly eyes and a bright personality. She loved sitting with Daddy in front of the TV , there was something amazing with the lounge suite as she stared at it endlessly, and the ceiling fan was a cheap alternative to baby toys as it continuously made her giggle. She loved her morning cuddles in bed with Mum and Dad and slept in the middle on many occasions.



She was allergic to cows milk, however she was a healthy little girl, with a bit of noisy breathing. On September 1st, we took her in to the Children’s Hospital for a test on her trachea as doctors suspected a floppy larynx or a strawberry birthmark that needed to be removed. Madi recovered well after her test and we took her back up to the ward.



45 minutes later, Little Madi was taken from our arms and rushed down to Intensive Care. That night we were informed with the terrible news, that our little Princess had an extremely rare disease called Tracheal Stenosis, which could never be operated on. Our little baby girl was going to die.



The family searched for help world wide, looking for a cure, a procedure to save our little baby’s life. The search went no where. After 6 days of waiting, hoping and our courageous little girl fighting for her life, the doctors asked us to make the hardest decision of our lives.



On Wednesday 7th September 2005, we held our little girl, kissed and caressed her and cried as we watched her take her last breath in our arms.



You changed our lives Madison-Belle and touched the hearts of many people. We will never forget your cheeky smile, your big bright eyes and more importantly the love we shared as a family. We will miss you dearly, until we meet again.

We love you little Princess, hugs and kisses, mummy and daddy.

DH and I carried the coffin out of the church to Sarah McClachlans 'In the Arms of an Angel', I was so weak and my eyes were full of tears my brother walked behing me holding me up.
The burial took place at the cemetary in the street behind where we live. My brother and Tony's brother carried the coffin to the grave as we all let go 105 pink balloons go. Madi-B was alive for 105 days. DH and I let 2 white Doves go as we played Madison-Belles favourite song "you are my sunshine".

We will never forget you our precious Darling. We love you

Here is a pic of Madison-Belle the morning before her broncoscopy.
Attached Thumbnails


Here are some pics of our family from the day of Madi's birth to just before she left us.Attached Images
____________

[Angelsmum]

Re: Our Precious Angel

---

There are more pictures in the Photo Album section under our Family if you are interested, Im not sure if these ones worked.

[liz_gcmama]

Re: Our Precious Angel

---

Thanks for sharing <sob> it must be hard but I hope you find some healing through this...

[~sequoia~]

Re: Our Precious Angel

---

Am in tears again. I don't know what to say - I don't know how you keep on.

[Heartwood]

Re: Our Precious Angel

---

Thankyou so much for sharing your daughters life with us. She looks just gorgeous in the photo's, especially the one where she is wearing the stripey top.
I imagine you and your husband must be forever grateful that you both got to hold her and look into her eyes after the operation.
I had to stop reading your story several times as I couldn't see through the tears, and I hope you take that the right way... not out of pity, but just reading your story I felt as if I was there.

I bet Madi-B is smiling down and watching out for her new baby sibling (again a big congratulations)

Kind regards, Kathy

[babytaj]

Re: Our Precious Angel

---

you are one strong mumma, thanks for sharing her storey.

[DePome]

Re: Our Precious Angel

---

I don't think I have ever read anything online that has made me cry this much. I can't imagine how you could have come through this, and I can't imagine how it would feel to go through it myself. Your strength is amazing but I am reassured to read that you believe Madison-Belle did come to you for a reason; I believe that too. She was sent to change you for reasons perhaps no yet known. And since she has been here before, perhaps her spirit can return again.

Blessings to you, as an angel's Mum you deserve them

[Merlion]

Re: Our Precious Angel

---

I am in tears (actually I'm emotional all the time nowadays) and don't know what to say - There is no words that can make things better

[Angelsmum]

Re: Our Precious Angel

---

Thanks to all for your lovely words, and Thanks for the hugs Deb

[Karma]

Re: Our Precious Angel

---

I am not allowed acsess to that thread to see her pic's, but I wanted to say that I think you are a beautiful, strong mother who loves who children dearly!

By the way, I love her name, its beautiful!

Gone but never forgotten!

Love and Light,
karma