Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

[Traveller]

Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

The situation:

A couple of years ago we finished a 16 month 4wd/camper trailer adventure around Australia with our two young daughters (who were 1 and 4 when we started). We had a great experience and certainly have no regrets and would highly recommend it to anyone thinking of doing the same.

Daughter # 3 was conceived along the way so we now have 3 DD's.

My wife was born in England and for a while now we had this idea to move to england for a year to experience life on the other side of the planet. We figure it will be a good opportunity to acquaint the girls with their relatives and as a family we can explore the UK and Europe being a short hop away.

We are planning to go in July 2012 and do the Olympic Games first and stay for a year.

My wife looks like having the opportunity to transfer her job there and I am a self employed and can work from anywhere so money is not an issue.

Our girls will be 4, 8 & 11 when we go with the eldest starting high school when we return.

The Dilemma

My grandmother who happens to be a pretty influential person in our extended family thinks we are being very selfish and irresponsible and putting our own dreams ahead of what's best for our girls. She believes that stable and 'secure' family life is what kids need, not chasing dreams around the world.

Personally I think that we are giving our girls a gift of experience that will add real value to their lives but she argues we are setting them up for a fall and we'll pay the price. She's a councillor for the Salvation Army and is not backwards in coming forward to tell me she 'would know' because she's seen it all.

She suggests that the swapping back and forth from schools, friendships stretched and general upheaval are far more destructive to them than any benefit they'll get from the travel experience.

Is she right? I don't believe so but I'm not prepared to dismiss it outright because there is too much at stake.

Would appreciate other perspectives, especially from those with the benefit of hindsight one way or another.

Thanks.

[Nyree]

Re: Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

Homeschool the girls & take them on an amazing adventure. They will learn more from seeing the world in this way than they would stuck in the same classroom year after year!

I'm sure as a councillor for the Salvo's, she's heard some horrific tales, but I can't see that an enriching experience like this would be the same as having to move a lot for less fortunate reasons.

Obviously, you know your family best, but I'm definitely in the "go for it" camp! Enjoy!

[learnermum]

Re: Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

I'm in the 'go for it ' camp too!!
I think it sounds like a wonderful gift to give your family and one that many would give if they had the opportunity.
Yes, they will have the distruption to friendships and schooling. But they will learn sooooo much and gain life skills as well as educational skills.
I'd say take them on the trip of a lifetime and enjoy every minute, I'm so jealous!

[Purly]

Re: Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

How do your children feel about it?

One year is a blink and what they will gain from getting to know their mother's homeland and the places that were meaningful to her when she was their age will probably mean so much more than another year of all the same stuff here.

Also after our break away from Australia my family and I are enjoying rediscovering our neighbourhood here.

[alzarex]

Re: Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

secure family life = being surround by love and family that loves and supports you
i reckon they'd get this wherever you are so go for it
grandma can take a step back! as Ny suggested i'm sure there's a world of difference between the reasons for moving so much that the people she helps have and your reasons
i've got lots of friends who were taken travelling when they were younger and none of them were hurt by the experience
in fact we plan to do a 6 - 12 month trip with our 3 when they are a bit older than yours are now ($$ and other circumstances permitting)

[morning pages]

Re: Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

Mmmm... I think 'security' is what you provide for children in terms of love, safety etc but I also think it can be informed by the relationships that are formed outside the family unit as well. I think travel can provide a wonderful learning opportunity. I agree with your Grandmother (I am a counsellor too) BUT I really think this applies more when children are older (secondary school) and going thru puberty etc. I really believe it is ideal for them to have a place to explore solid, long-term friendships, relationships and themselves. Your children's ages mean the attachments they form won't be as critical (still important) but the chance to travel and experience life I think will enrich them alot more. Another idea is to talk to some teachers about this, it is part of their job to know kids, they see (daily) kids in all sorts of scenario's. I would also be intrigued as to whether you Grandmother has explained her position from the evidence she has seen. Remember also, you know best and you know your children best.

[Amanda.R]

Re: Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

we went away for a year when I was 10, just to another state (not as exciting as going over seas), but that time holds the best memories of my child hood, I say go for it!

[Traveller]

Re: Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

Thanks for everyone's input so far. Certainly plenty of support there.
I had a chat with the girls over breakfast this morning to see what their thoughts were. The eldest (who is 8 now) had 3 concerns:

1. What about my friends?
2. I don't want to fly all that way.
3. They are not allowed to wear short skirts and t-shirts in England (apparently :-)

The 5 year old had no real issues and I suppose is too young to truly grasp the bigger picture. Mind you by the time we'd finished our big trip around Australia a couple years back, she'd spent half her life travelling so perhaps travel is now a part of her DNA.

Anyway, the friends issue is obviously the big one and after I reassured her that with Skype, email, Facebook etc. she'll have pretty much continuous contact with her friends back home she was fine.

We then talked about what we'd gain from the trip - visiting 1000 year old castles, palaces where real princesses live, meeting cousins, visits to Europe etc. they both became very excited.

I agree that moving kids around during high school years is not a great idea and my wife and I specifically timed this trip so that our eldest would start high school when we get back, at the same school she is in now (R-12) so she can largely pick up where she left off.

Appreciate any other perspectives that people have.

[hanabi]

Re: Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

I'm not sure you'll find much diversity among a community who see the value in life experience. I agree with previous posters to the extent that I have dragged three kids off to the other side of the world, and even had another baby there.

The timing is right for your family, so if causes you no hardship, why not go?

[peanut2007]

Re: Is it irresponsible to take 3 kids overseas for a year?

---

im in the go for it camp, my parents moved us over to PNG when i was 7 and i loved it we were there for 18mths and it was such an amazing exxperience. We were in the highlands where there is very little english spoken etc but seeing how another culture live was great, knowing that england isnt as big of a change i still believe that your girls will benefit from the experience. JMO.
I say go for it, infact when peanut and accorn are 10 and 8 we plan to spend a year going around different countries, nepal, england, russia etc.

Shay

Shay