2 children, not getting any younger... :)

MegAndMikey · #1 (**permalink**) 21-10-2008, 09:25 PM

I love my two kids. I adore my two kids. Some days I look at them and just revel in how perfect they are, 2 healthy, happy little people, ever so busy discovering life.

But Emma's 14 months old, my babies are now both walking and running toddlers. Emma's still bf'ing and enjoys being in slings - when it suits her!

Some days I simply can't imagine never again having a little new baby snuggled into my chest, bf'ing on the run, needing it's head supported, existing purely on my milk. Maybe I'm selfish...

Anyway, I'm 33 now so I guess if we are going to have more I should probably get a move on. Not that Emma's allowing my fertility to return, but her night feeding has really dropped down so I expect it anytime soon - the first time in over 4 years (Emma was concieved without our realising she could be, just after Mikey night-weaned).

One thing that worries me is that if we did have another it would probably be the last. So many people have bad things to say about 3 kids, middle child syndrome, etc. I worry for my Emma - what if they're right?

Also, do I go for it now, get the nappy stage over with, or wait so that Mikey (who adores babies!) and Em can be slightly older and enjoy having a baby in the home.

Anyway, I'm babbling. Any thoughts to help clear my mind?

**raifaerie** · #2 (**permalink**) 21-10-2008, 09:46 PM

im a middle child and im ok

i must say that there were times growing up when i didnt feel like i fit in, etc. but i dont know that can be put down to middle child - maybe just something most kids experience at one point or another?
i was a bit of a rot between the ages of 3 and 5 (thats putting it nicely)!, but i got there in the end.
im happy to say that i have an awesome relationship with my parents. my mum i would have to say is as well as being worlds best mum, is my best friend. and i dont know what i would do without my 2 sisters. i love them to pieces, and cant imagine my life without both of them. lel is 2 yrs older, and gen is 3.5 yrs younger. i doted on gen when she was a baby - loved her to pieces! then she became really annoying, then when i left home we became friends again! lol

i think there are worse things you can do to your kid than make them a middle child. i think 3 is a nice number. i always planned to have 3 - my ex has screwed that up now, but i think 2 as a single mum will be more than enough for me to manage !!

if that ache is there, there probably isnt much else that is going to satisfy it than the real deal. AND if Emma is meant to be able to handle being a middle child, then she will be. us middlies are pretty special people you know!! LOL

Craig&Kel · #3 (**permalink**) 21-10-2008, 10:18 PM

I think three is a nice number too.

When children have a sense of identity and feel loved for who they are as individuals, I don't think 'middle child syndrome' can rear its ugly head so to speak.
I agree with what Rai said; I think that all people, not just middle kids, have times in their lives where you don't feel like you fit in but maybe this is what helps us to define who we are.

aly1979 · #4 (**permalink**) 21-10-2008, 10:18 PM

Hi, nice to hear from you M!

We've been going back and forth over these same questions every since our second was born. Not much help from me because despite all those doubts we have decided to TTC anyway. We are as sure as we are going to get I think. I do think that so many things would be easier if we stopped now but I have been obsessing about this ever since DS was born and I know I will always wonder and regret if there is no third.
I have the same concerns about 3 as a number, but I'm not willing to consider more than 3 so I hope its the right size for us. The idea of 4 is terrifying :-)

I'm on uni holidays from november so would love to catch up again soon! And then I will ramble on about this in person....

cath3boys · #5 (**permalink**) 21-10-2008, 10:38 PM

We have three and it's great! I found it a huge adjustment going from 1 little one to 2 little people, but 2 - 3 wasn't half a bad as I thought. We are even talking about number 4, a nice round number......

strata · #6 (**permalink**) 21-10-2008, 10:42 PM

Sometimes i feel like these little spirits come to us tap tapping, and we let them in or not, trust you'll know if there's another to join your family. i too am feeling the pinch of time nearly thirty three, single now and sometimes long to give birth a third time, or perhaps! thats a longing to share that journey with someone. .Middle child syndrome, i think its a bit bit wives talesish, and negative slant implying a suffering! while no doubt that middle children share typical experiences, so to do first or last or only or number? of nine children..and after all, experiences may be seen in a positive or negative light...look forward to hearing if your family grows another or just as is!

Maire · #7 (**permalink**) 22-10-2008, 12:15 AM

I am in the same position.. 33, have 2 kids and I'd like another 2. I want to breastfeed my bub at least until he's 1 .... he's only 2 months now.

I think however things turn out for you in terms of spacing and so on, it will all work out - they say you never regret the kids you have, just hte ones you don't have.

I feel extremely guilty on environmental grounds though!

smurray · #8 (**permalink**) 22-10-2008, 11:16 AM

Hi there,

I'm a middle child in a family of 3. I would say you're right, being in the middle when kids are close in age can be really tough. There is a tendency for the oldest and the youngest to claim all the attention.

I think the point is, you are aware of this. So it puts you in a good position to notice your kids and what is happening with them. If you start to see those "patterns" emerging, you can take the time to give the middle child extra one-on-one time.

Its not just middle children who can suffer either. I think its really good to be on the look out for the 'youngest child' syndrome too, and to make sure the 'oldest' doesn't have to take on too much responsibility too early.

IMO every child should get the chance to be nurtured, and to be the competent leader, and to have exclusive time and attention from their parents.

kadownie · #9 (**permalink**) 22-10-2008, 05:40 PM

we have three.. and it's fun most of the time.. the twins are 4 now- and DS2 is just one.. I would like another I think.. but will wait a few more years to go again (if DH lets me!) personally I like at least 3 years in between kidlets!!

MegAndMikey · #10 (**permalink**) 26-10-2008, 10:01 PM

Thanks for all the views, it's nice to hear a lot of positive things being said from experience with 3. I'm thinking I may wait another year before TTC however, let the kids be that bit older to enjoy the experience of having a baby in the house. Hopefully my ovaries will hold out for me