Update on Teenager dating

melly202769 · #1 (**permalink**) 31-07-2008, 08:10 AM

Hi about a month ago I was a wreck.
My daughter 13 was wanting to date this
16 year old. It got quite ugly and her father was
dead against it so was I but I also didn't want to lose my open relationship with my daughter.
Well she was caught by her father on her day off of school walking with him down the street.
He went off of course bought her home and went back to work. She rang me I came home.She was so distraught.She had a backpack on and was leaving because dad wouldn't and isn't going to let me see him so out the door she went.
I rang her dad and went searching.
Found her in an old car we have in the yard asleep.
I was so relieved and went inside after words.
Her father sat in the ute and then I heard them arguing, she was saying if you love me you would give him a chance. Please...
Can't you see I love him....
He was yelling back I am doing this because I love you....
Finally he said He might consider it.

So My daughter is now allowed to see him but only at our house. They are happy with that.
In the meantime My mother has totally wiped me and my daughter mainly because of this as she feels I am a bad mum for letting her see this boy.

Oh Well can't please everyone hey...

Our house is alot more calmer now less stress.
I'm still not sure of it was the right thing to do but I do know that I know where they both are when they are together and not roaming the streets.

Jasper · #2 (**permalink**) 31-07-2008, 01:50 PM

Far out! I shudder to think what things will be like when its my girls' turn for this. To be honest, I had plenty of boyfriends growing up and most of them went no further than cuddling and kissing, maybe a bit of touching here and there until I got a little older. Thirteen is a scary age for everyone concerned, its so akward being not a grown up and not a kid.
I too think that 16 is too old for a 13 year old, but that the gap also closes as the younger one gets older, what I mean by that is that the age difference doesnt seem so huge when they start to hit the older teens ie. 17 with 20 yr old.
I think you guys made the right decision, if you tell her no, she will see him anyway and start sneaking off with him, but if you have "supervised" visits then they will probably tire of each other anyway. I personally think the 16 yr old will end up wanting someone a little more grown up than a 13 yr old anyway and no you save face and keep your relationship open with your daughter. Your mother on the other hand has some explaining to do, what rediculas behaviour, you sure shes not the 13 yr old???

**Nyree** · #3 (**permalink**) 31-07-2008, 02:20 PM

I was 16 before anyone showed a real interest in me, so it's a bit different than 13, but my mum did the same thing - welcomed the guys into the house. She figured it was much better that she knew I was somewhere safe than out & about doing God knows what. I really appreciate & respect her for doing things that way. I'm sure your daughter will feel the same way as the years pass

melly202769 · #4 (**permalink**) 02-08-2008, 10:29 AM

Thanks for the replies.
It helps to hear other peoples opinions.
I wish she could have waited till she was at least 15 (Next year) it might have been a bit easier.
I don't know but 13 is a hard time for me and I suppose it is for my daughter with all her hormones running wild.
But My mum feels she has been dumped for this boy thats why she is not talking to either of us at the moment.

But I have a new motto in life.
Whatever will be will be.
I can only guide my daughter not to do the wrong things it's up to her to take my advice or not.
I can't wait till she turns 14 as it won't sound as bad when people ask how old the boy is.(16)

He is coming over for the day today.
Bye for now...