tips for coping during the day on my own with 3 under 5yrs...

[monstermon]

Hi wise mamas,

DD2 is now just over 4 weeks old, and I am looking for advice on getting through the day on my own with my 4.5yo, 22mth old, and newborn..., plus my DSD on alternate weeks...

I'm trying hard to be organised as I'm finding this the key to not losing it, but my time is so limited!!

So far this is what I'm doing each day...:

- make sure I shower BEFORE DP goes to work
- as soon as DD2 settles for first sleep of the day, I make snacks in containers and organise water bottles for DS and DD1 so they can eat without delay once they get hungry.
- in the evenings, I'm putting out kids clothes for the morning, and setting the table for breakie (kindy starts at 8.45)
- get one load of washing put on

I feel like that is a pretty good effort, but I have not managed to cook dinner once since DD2 was born. DP has been doing most of the cooking, and we had lots of meals in the freezer that we organised in my last few weeks of pregnancy.

As well, I'm yet to do more than one day in a row on my own, as DP has been gradually going back to work... 2 days last week, 3 days this week, 4 next week....

I really need to be able to get dinner done! My MIL has just given me a slow cooker, which I'm hoping will help with meal prep, but I can't get it on in time in the mornings, and the evenings are full of dealing with DD2 at the moment, as she likes to feed for several hours before going to bed for the night around 11pm/midnight...!

Any tips, ideas appreciated!

Monique

[GreenGully]

No experience from here sorry! Can you get some of the things you want done with your littlest one in a sling? Can you breastfeed while wearing her?

[Marmee]

You have some great organisation happening.

Some more to add :

* get bags etc ready the night before - snacked and nappied up and all ready to go
* cook up big and freeze in weekends when partner is at home
* start making up special boxes for the children - their own or one to share. A box that gets pulled out on those hair-raising days, or days that you just need them to be extra intrigues with something while you catch up on some rest on the lounge Pop in things like new crayons, art books, story books with CD's, cars, dolls, bubbles, games - a treasure trove of things. Even a DVD if that takes your fancy!

[bubly]

Sorry no tips Monique, but can I just say you sound amazing!!
I will be watching this thread keenly, venturing into 3 at home territory in a few months!! Are you a naturally organised person? I'm not and I'm starting to wonder how I'm going to manage once kinder starts next year. Having to be up and organised and out the door by 8.30 a few times a week isn't really my strong point.

[monstermon]

well, DP thinks I'm an organised person, and I guess I am in some ways... I like writing lists, and I use a diary/calendar for keeping track of commitments, but in other ways I'm terribly disorganised... I think mostly when it comes to the house and housework!! so I do feel I've really had to get a lot more organised than I have ever had to be.....

one thing that I have found really handy in tidying up the chaos during the day is a pair of long handled tongs...!! I can pick up and put away without having to bend to far while DD2 is in the sling... I used them a lot in my last few weeks of pregnancy too....

I find the early starts pretty hard too...! one thing that has helped with the kindy starts is not stressing about being late.. in fact, getting there 10mins later is actually nicer as I can get a park out the front, and there isn't such a crowd of mums there...

[Dorasmum]

Ha ha, I like the tongs idea, I needed them in the supermarket yesterday, with a 12 kg DD in the ergo she grabbed a couple boxes of muesli bars off the shelf onto the ground and it's hard to get down to pick them up. Then I dropped a can of baked beans on the floor and had to ask a nice young chap with dreadlocks to pick it up.

No more tips I can think of that haven't already been said, you sound like you're in pretty good control already! Good on your DP for cooking dinner....

Em

[emd]

Actually, you sound like supermum to me I have 3 kids with similar age gaps, and I don't remember being that organised!

Other things I do:
* List on the fridge of ideas for entertaining littlies at home, and another list of places to go with phone numbers and the days when my mummy friends are home with their kids. Great when I'm too tired to think.
* Rotate the toys in the lounge room regularly with other toys in storage so the kids don't get bored.
* Playdough is good for amusing kids in the kitchen while I cook or clean up.
* Make use of grandparents or other support people to take the big kids out regularly so I can focus on the baby without distraction. It's not shirking motherly responsibility to the big kids. It means they get the time out to do things that a baby can't participate in, the baby gets quiet time to just feed and sleep, and I feel recharged to focus on the big kids when they come again.
* Lower your standards for household tidiness. Sure, there are toys and clothes and books and paper from one end of the house to the other. But the floor is regularly vacuumed and mopped, the dishes get washed, and the clothes all over the floor are just there because the kids are "helping" put away the clean washing.
* Have one room that is the sanctuary: kids are not allowed to mess it up. When visitors come over and everything else is a disaster, or just when I feel sick of living in a brothel/rubbish tip, there is one clean room to go to.

[monstermon]

Can you get some of the things you want done with your littlest one in a sling? Can you breastfeed while wearing her?

I have been putting DD in hugabub a fair bit to get stuff done, but I find it so tiring doing stuff while I'm carrying her, especially on limited sleep... I always tend to end up at the computer when I have the sling on... but I think I do need to try and use it more... some things are kind of easy with a slung bub, but things like helping DD1 go on the potty, or cleaning up wet pants and wee on the floor are kind of awkward...maybe the mop might be better for mopping up spills, than getting on hands and knees with terry square!

can't feed her in sling... maybe when she is bigger - I'm wondering whether this is just cause I am rather large breasted....

I also love the ideas of a treasure box and list of ideas on the fridge... at the moment, the main thing I come up with is sending them out on the trampoline, which gives me a few quiet moments inside, but we've been having a lot of wet weather, which has meant a lot of inside time, and feeling trapped....

I also love the idea of having a room as a retreat, but our house is too small... we have 1 living area, where we have 2 computers, the tv, DD2's hammock and most of the kids toys (and it's not a very big room!), so getting away from the noise is a bit of an issue... I have been starting to use my bedroom to go to if I feel like I need a few quiet minutes for feeding or whatever, but because we co-sleep with the kids, they pretty much treat our room as theirs as well, and we don't make beds in this house, so it is usually pretty messy too... lol perhaps I need to keep it a bit tidier, and make it a 'no go' zone for the kids during the day....

something else I'm trying to do - when I feel my stress levels rising, I put some chilled music on... hopefully the relaxed vibe of the music helps to keep me calm, and that will hopefully rub off on the kids...!

I'm loving the ideas, keep 'em coming...

[justincredible]

Dinner is done here before lunch most days. It's either in the slow cooker after the kindy drop off (while DS 3 and DS1) watch playschool and eat sultanas. If it's not a slow cook meal, I either cut up all the gear and put it in the fridge (for stir fry and the like) or make something like Spaghetti Bolognaise and just keep it in the fridge until dinner then make the pasta or whatnot.
Then I make a lunch... and do the dishes, and close the kitchen LOL.

We try and get out between 10am and 2pm, just to wear out, get some sun, and run amok. I take water bottles, and crackers, and apples. We go to the marina or visiting friends.

Washing starts from the minute I get up, I turn it on when I get out of the shower.
In the afternoon when either DS2 or DS3 are napping I pack away the toys in the lounge and sweep, and put away what I can in the rooms... laundry etc.
I find if I make sure everything is off the floor I can fudge tidiness pretty well LOL.

I do have days where I fall in a heap, and days when DS1 (4.5) and DS2 are at each other all day. I find they are the days we just HAVE to be out, even if it's just to the supermarket, or a drive along the coast so they nap and I take a deep breath.

DH is working long hours atm, so I have to cook dinner or we wouldn't eat till 9ish at night, but I have found that in aiming to have dinner on the table at a regular time I do much better, and making sure I have LOADS of quick and easy meals in my head. Stirfry is always a winner here, made with vermicelli, or tacos... things that can be made up ready to just throw together.


Ergh that was a ramble... but having 3 under 5 (and at one stage 3 under 4) I feel the chaos that comes.

[moneypenny]

a pair of long handled tongs

OMG! I love that idea! Sorry, no useful info here but I just had to comment on the tongs You have done this pregnant woman a world of good