Tandem BFing and Reluctant toileters?

[0BleSseD0]

They are two seperate questions if you were wondering.

SO I have recently found out that we are expecting number three! Tested this morning, but I knew yesterday..
Are there any tandem feeders with around a 23 month age gap (thats my estimate), how doyou do it and what are the dynamics of the whole thing?

Also, I am giving a go at trying to teach my DS to use the toilet.
He has pooped and weed in it before but now won't.
I have stuck a piece of paper next to the toilet on the wall and if he goes he gets a sticker. I just bought out tons of shiny pretty stickers.. But he is not falling for it.

My next thought was to put some of the bigger more colourful ones on the toilet itself.. To make it look more inviting but I just don't know.


Any help would be GREAT.

[Dorasmum]

Oh wow, Congratulations. How exciting for you!

On the questions, sorry can't help! I had a 4 year age gap and I don't think my DD1 eventually figured out what the toilet was for from my efforts. It took 6 months of cluelessness till she clicked one friday afternoon and never looked back. I had the potty in the lounge room for a while, did all the usual things...

Em

[hanabi]

I reckon, the more you try to 'toilet train' the longer it will take. You could take the attitude that 'he'll go when he's ready' and then one day he'll surprise you and just transition in a matter of days. Both methods are fine, it just depends on the energy you have to dedicate to it.

The ping pong ball in the toilet water is a fun one. Also the bombing of paper boats (toilet paper laid flat on the water) but again, these things will work only if DS is keen to toilet in the first place and, like sleeping and eating, it's not really something we can initiate for them.

I can't advise on tandem feeding, though I admire your willingness to do it. There are dozens of past threads here on NP though so if you do a search, I'm sure you'll find enough material to answer your questions and keep you reading for hours! I know there are a few mamas here who are tandem feeding too so perhaps they'll come along and share their experience soon.

[bubly]

Congratulations!!

I had a 21 month age gap between DS1 & DS2. Tandem feeding was (and still is) great for us. It did take a bit of working out and I really think you just have to be open and see how it falls into place for your family. I started feeding them both separately, then, as it got easier to feed the younger one, they could feed together. Now that they're older they mostly 'share the boob'.
More than happy to answer any questions you might have.

[Marmee]

Congratulations on the pregnancy Wishing you all the best....

Re: tandem feeding. Our gap was 21 months. Tandem feeding has been the greatest thing for us - I really believe that it has helped with the bonding between toddler and babe. It can seem a little overwhelming from the outset, but so very natural when the time comes. I am also happy to share our experiences with you

Re: toilet training. Our experience ~ we had most success when our children told us that they wanted to wear undies, or started taking nappies off to wee/poo. So, their cues were pretty obvious We then had potty close by us at all times, and reminded them it was there, encouraged them to go and it didn't take long for it to be mastered.

Mind you, Miss 2.5 years still dribbles just about every time she has to go - so her undies are damp and need to be changed!

I know a lot of people use reward systems for toileting. Personally, I'm not sure about the sticker idea. If a child isn't completely "ready" to train, they aren't going to have success....and so may feel like a failure. If they *are* ready - the internal satisfaction from doing a wee or poo in the loo can be seen on their face, without the need for reward

I also wonder what it is really teaching them? Do a wee for Mummy and you get a sticker? I don't know.....seems weird to me? But - that's just me

[0BleSseD0]

I have been doing the wait until he is ready thing, but just feel like a little encouragement is needed because he has little to no interest in it.

I think I will leave the sticker chart there but we can talk about it if he asks about it.

I can wait another little while.

[~*Nile*~]

Originally Posted by hanabi

I reckon, the more you try to 'toilet train' the longer it will take. You could take the attitude that 'he'll go when he's ready' and then one day he'll surprise you and just transition in a matter of days. Both methods are fine, it just depends on the energy you have to dedicate to it.

I agree totally. When I was pg with my 2nd, my 2 year old DD was still in nappies and I was stressing about having 2 in naps. We bribed and begged, to no avail. I was resigned to the fact she wasn't ready. Then a couple of weeks before DS was born, she just sat on the toilet and went. She was even dry at night by 3 months later. I know it's frustrating, but forcing them just upsets everyone.

Can you put it in terms of big boys go to the toilet? Try to make it a positive thing where he's feeling like a big boy??

[0BleSseD0]

I'm more worried about having THREE in nappies.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm far from forcing him to go to the toilet.
He has just shown no interest in it so I am trying to make it a bit more enticing.
I know he CAN go since he has peed and pooped in it before.

[Marmee]

Yeah....I can understand your thoughts re: 3 in nappies.

Just thought I'd pop by and say that I was at a meeting today with a mum whose 3 year old boy is showing no interest whatsoever in going to the toilet. I reckon that boys *can* be slower in showing interest than boys.

I also know of another family where they tried and tried and tried, lived through many accidents, before giving up. Little boy was 2 at the time. Then, mum tried again at 3 - and they never had an accident since

[0BleSseD0]

He is a LOT closer to 3 than 2.
It wasn't even a thought at 2..


Don't get me wrong here, I'm not getting all stressed about it I was just hoping someone might have a suggestion that maybe I am missing?