Shy child/ social anxiety

[Jasper]

Im really starting to worry about my eldest DD. Shes very shy. Shes shy to the point where she'll shut down if someone speaks to her and look completely blank and ignore them. It worries me as i have been shy and I know how hard it is and she's starting school next year. Its getting a point where I dont know what else to do to help her.
Shes like this with strangers and with people she knows, even with reletives. HELP

[0BleSseD0]

Some kids are just like that, just in the same way that some adults are like that.

I think the technical term is 'sensitive'.

My DS loses it when he has to interact with more than one kid at once and he can get very stressed when we are at the supermarket and it is busy.
He is easily overwhelmed.

It may just be a personality trait.

Have you tried talking to her about it?
She may have a genuine fear of other people.

There is also something I heard about ages ago called a selective mute. Meaning that in social situations or around anybody other than close family they freeze and CAN'T talk.

Like I said.. Maybe talk to her about it and ask her how she FEELS when it happens.

[Marmee]

I agree that some are just like this, and the best you can do, as you are already doing, is just support her. Model more extrovert behaviour?

Does it seem to affect *her*...or is it something that is concerning *you*?

Maybe this Dr Sears article may help?

[Jasper]

Thanks for the article, I did read it through. Yes I have a problem with her shyness as I worry for her, having been a shy child I know how difficult it makes your life, however, I know that its also effecting her. She wants to do somethings but is just too shy to let herself have a go, she wont go on rides like a jumping castle and will cry if we arent there, at birthday parties she wont join in the games or playing with the kids even though they are her friends or relitives, she wants to show she can do things but cant push herself forward.
I see her physicaly shut down when a stranger talks to her and she goes all shy and hides when a relitive or someone she already knows speaks to her. At kindy she plays with no-one but the teachers or very occasionally for short bursts with a few children. Every time I drop her off at kindy she suffers separation anxiety and it starts from the night before, she cries and clings to me even though at the end of the day shes all smiles and bounds over to tell me how much she likes kindy. SHe is 5 years old now so she should be getting braver should she?
We had probs at her last daycare (bad daycare, so i dont blame her) but she really suffered there and she even had a massive attack of hives and she didnt tell anyone despite her discomfort as she was too scared.
Im really worried about her at prep next year, not only in the friend department, but also in the learning as I know she wont feel comfy putting her hand up in class, speaking out loud, or showing that she can do things that they are teaching her. Shes incredably intelligent (we did a questionnair type IQ test on the net out of curiosity and she got most questions correct) and shes a brilliant artist, but I fear she will not be noticed in class or let things slip by instead.

[Jasper]

Oh, and we have spoken about it and she told me she feels sad when people talk to her, I asked her why but she just said she feels sad. I asked what we can do to fix it and she said that she needs to remember that people arent scary.

[0BleSseD0]

Maybe offer her a roll of smiley face stickers.

'Safe' people can get one and she will know from then on that they are OK to talk to and aren't scary.
Just an idea.