Traveling with an infant

[lilypilly]

Hi, I am new to this forum - (i will try to goto the introductory page / spot later... getting a bit tired now) - so just wanted to ask for some help...

We are about to pack up our flat and jump back in our bus and hit the road again - that part i am ok with, it's the visiting other people in their houses bit that is making me anxious. (we'll be doing this initally as we won't be seeing them for some time)

Our little bubba (our first) is just over 4 months old. I generally go along the lines of AP. I carry her alot, although some days I lay her on our bed to sleep (she only sleeps for an hour or so at a time during the day..) otherwise i carry her - anyway.... At night i feed her to sleep lying on our bed and then she is happy there until we go to bed - (co-sleep)

My concern is that when we go to visit others what i am going to do in the evenings.. I am NOT happy about leaving her in a strange room on a bed (or in any other sort of 'baby' bedding that may be on offer - be it bassinette / cot etc). We do have a hammock, although i don't usually put her in that to sleep (she has played with hanging soft toys in it during the day sometimes) - i have put her in there a few times once she has been asleep, but each time she has woken up crying....

I was thinking about just keeping her with me, either just hold her or put her in hug-a-bub as i usually go to bed only about 3 - 3.5 hrs later.... BUT for some reason i don't feel like having to defend my parenting style to the people we visit... I am the youngest of 11 (yes, eleven) children. My mum has already made comments about me (not to me..) not ever being able to put our baby down if i carry her around so much.....

I have thought about trying to get bubba used to the hammock in the evenings until i go to bed - but she would still be in a foreign room when we are visiting...

As you can probably tell by now - I am confused!!! and am seeking advice / suggestions.... please

Thanks in advance. I have read a few different threads on this site and found there are some amazing and beautiful people out there!

[alzarex]

maybe a big cushion she's used to that she can sleep on on the floor near you at night?
we have a tetra snuggle bed that we've used for all three in different situations where we've not been at home from visiting friends, to camping to under a table in a restaurant (our kids like to spread out flat to sleep and lying horizontal while having dinner out never worked for me )
none of our 3 kids have gone to bed before about 11pm until about 18months of age - they've slept on us during the evening and then gone to bed with us.

if bubba is used to the hammock then you could either put it next to you when you are visiting or depending on the room there may be a quieter area if you feel comfortable with her in the room but not next to you

if it helps, mums always make comments about our parenting - everything we do even slightly differently seems to appear a challenge to how they did things, stick your head down bum up, fingers in your ears if you have to, and just get on with loving your daughter, if it's not carrying your little one it'll be something else so just grin say I love my baby and we're both happy for now and give her an extra snuggle from all of us

[justincredible]

none of our 3 kids have gone to bed before about 11pm until about 18months of age - they've slept on us during the evening and then gone to bed with us.

ditto.

we also have a floor cushion, a 1m x 1m cushion that's used as a day bed in the lounge for bubs.

[Jakaluma]

I would hold my baby (or sling) in my arms as I sat or stood and chatted in the evenings, and they would sleep until we went to bed. It is hard though if you feel you are being judged or talked about. Maybe turn it around a bit and say how nice and snuggly it is for you to hold her?

[Dorasmum]

Have heart, you will gain more confidence. Like Alzarex said, head down bum up and just get on with doing what you need to do. Don't worry about anybody else. Maybe experiment a little to find the best solution and just go with it. But choose what ever you choose because it works for you and bub, not to fit in with others.

Em

[meitaimama]

We've travelled a lot with our dd and it's definitely more stressful staying with relatives than in hotels etc! We usually put dd down on a folded blanket in a quiet corner of the room when she falls asleep in the evening. Or we just keep her in arms or in a carrier.

Yes, you will get criticism.... and IME your child will be at their most unmanageable (crying non-stop, jet lagged, refusing to sleep/eat etc etc) when you are staying with your fanatically non-AP rellies, who will helpfully tell you of their success with CIO, ffing, 'discipline' etc. You'll just have to put up with it! There are worse things to have to deal with. You will not be able to argue effectively for AP principles when your baby is having a meltdown and driving everyone nuts, so just forget it. Give yourselves regular breaks away from family to recharge

[lilypilly]

thank you all so much for your input. you are right, i should do what feels best and is best for our bubba.

main thing is that i try, from now, to not get anxious about it.

thanks again