what do you think of the ds scans in pregnancy.

[sweetchili]

After reading this thread;
Victorian Abortion Law


I decided to start an very emotional chat post about what people feel about the nuchal fold ultrasound and amnio testing.
and a few other things i obviously needed to get off my chest!!

before i had Cj i was ademently against it.
Since having CJ and facing a life raising achild with server intelectual and physical disabilty....and seeing so many other families facing the same thing...i have to say..i still feel exactly the same.

Some of the things i find wrong about the tests...
the accuracy..or lack of.
the waiting period between the tests and the results...and the stress that then places on the family
the risks of the amnio
then being half way through your pregancy and 'having' to decide on wether to have an abortion or not.

and the fact that i believe if you have decided to have children then you need to be prepared to take on the responsibilities that comes with that. being a parents as all of you know is not that easy...regardless of what your child's needs are.

Then there is the whole issue of picking out one(maybe a few more) syndrome...out of the millions of issues that your child can be born with.

WHY pick on down syndrome, there are millions(as i am learning), of syndromes and birth defects that children can be born with...some of which mean a huge difference in quality of life for the child.

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN???? does that make it right?

I mean we can't test if our children are going to grown into rapists or murders, or wether they will have cancer later on...or be killed in a car acident. OR ANYTHING that might happen in their future good or bad.

And just because that child may have hard times in life, and will turn your world upside down and round and round....does it mean they are not entitled to a life?

I remember my mum telling me when my uncle was very close to dying of a degenerative disorder at the age of twenty one a friend of the family around the same age commited suiside..my uncle was appauled and furious....how does it make any sense that he is fighting for life everyday...wishing everyday that it won't be his last, and this person can just end theres in a wink.

to me this feels the same as aborting a child with downs syndrome.....i fight everyday for my son, for his health and welbeing...and he fights too....but people who have these tests and plan to abort if they are negative are just going to give up.....give up on a life so precious and wonderful???????????????

i have had this discussion with some of the parents at my disabilties support group and even though many of them say before they were pregnant they would never had thought they would have coped with a child with special needs, all of them feel it has been the most amazing(although hard) and rewarding journey of their lives.

Yes, we all agree that if we could give our children good health and a 'typical' life we would in a flash...but we know we cant and we accept them and love them just the way they are.

[Dorasmum]

And how many stories are there of women who've been told they should abort but refused to and the baby turned out to be completely healthy? And how much of a part does our litigious society play on doctors willingness to turn high probabilities into sureties to then recommend abortion? Who's butt are they covering?

I saw a sticker on the back of a car once- said "Abortion Survivor". That says it all to me.

I have a basic belief that we as humans do not have the right to choose if a person lives or dies, as much as I would not choose to kill my existing children, would I not choose to kill my unborn child. Things happen and we have to be prepared to deal with them as they happen, no matter what the heartache. For the record though, there is only one situation where I would even consider abortion, where there was a very high certainty that continuing with a pregnancy would result in mine and the baby's death. Then I would take any chance I could get, for the sake of my other children.

Em

[Marmee]

Originally Posted by sweetchili

WHY pick on down syndrome, there are millions(as i am learning), of syndromes and birth defects that children can be born with..............JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN???? does that make it right?

Ahhh, R'ee - I have wondered this for a very long time. For me, if we were to choose between a child with DS and a child with many other health issues or with the future of a rapist as you mentioned, I would be honored to be the mother of a child with DS.

I reckon that this test came about due to the misunderstanding back in the .... what? 50's? The generation who segregated the "mongoloids" and had no respect for them. Times have changed.

I have nothing against those who want the test. Their choice - I just hope it's darn well informed.

I personally believe that we are dealt all the cards that we are dealt in life for a reason. Sometimes the reason isn't so clear to us ... but eventually it all makes sense.

For us, we would never terminate a pregnancy - so there is no reason to have the test.

[emd]

I don't think it is fair for me to judge others for the choices they make. I don't live their life or have their values, so it's not for me to say what is right for their situation. Equally, I expect others to respect the choices that I make.

I do the nuchal fold ultrasound to check for Down's, but I wouldn't terminate a pregnancy if I knew the baby had it. It would just give me time to order the ABA booklet on breastfeeding a baby with Down's.

[~Luna~]

I wouldn't abort because of downs so wouldn't get the tests.
I may abort if the baby had Anencephaly or some other deformaty incompatible with life, but even then I'm not sure if I could do it... but would consider it.

[lcorteen]

Hi all

A very emotional subject...

We didn't have the tests because we knew we would not have an amnio or abort if given a 'high probablility' result.

After our children were born, two friends had 'high prob' test results - 1 had amnio which was negative and the other didn't, but spent the rest of the pregnancy completely stressed out (part of the reason why we didn't have the test).

I feel strongly about my beliefs, but I also feel strongly that it is not for me to judge decisions others make for themselves and their families.

What does irritate me A LOT is that doctors (and I'm talking about my GP here, who is actually lovely and very prgamatic) assume you will have the test and are surprised when you don't, like you are taking a big risk or something. When discussing it with friends and family, many say they just didn't really think about it and took the test because their doc booked them in or gave them the pamphlet.

I am in awe of you mums with kids with special needs - your grace is inspiring.

xx

[Nyree]

I declined the NF test on the basis that I would not abort anyway. While I do agree to an informed woman's right to abortion, it is not something I could do myself. I believe we are all born to our parents for a reason.

[emd]

My ob actually asked "do you want this test?" before I had it, and suggested to me that if I wouldn't terminate a pregnancy based on the result then I shouldn't bother having the test. It was nice to know that doing these tests are optional, and it was nice of him to encourage us to think about it first. But there's more to testing than just the possibility of termination - there's also the possibility of time to prepare for living.

[sweetchili]

Since having CJ and facing a life raising achild with server intelectual and physical disabilty..

after thinking about it last night i thought i might change this to ...moderate to high...because in some areas CJ is doing very well, and i dont want to deny that at all.


will come back and reply more later ..have ashockinghead ache and feeling sick.

[~*WindofGrace*~]

Originally Posted by emd

My ob actually asked "do you want this test?" before I had it, and suggested to me that if I wouldn't terminate a pregnancy based on the result then I shouldn't bother having the test. It was nice to know that doing these tests are optional, and it was nice of him to encourage us to think about it first. But there's more to testing than just the possibility of termination - there's also the possibility of time to prepare for living.

My GP offered the same and refused to take an answer on the same day. She also said to remember that the 12 week scan was great in terms of "how lovely it is to see your baby" that once the test was done she was obligated to telling me the results, which could lead to a stressed out pregnancy.

We refused on the basis that it didn't matter to us whether there was something abnormal on the test. We would not be having an amnio and we would not be terminating.

I struggle to understand how people can make such a life altering decision based on one fairly inaccurate test. I'm glad that I had the resolve to be confident in my choice.