Another thrower... Pleeeeeeeeeeeease help!!

naxi_d · #1 (**permalink**) 29-09-2008, 05:25 PM

I have been searching through some old posts here and it seems I am not alone, but I really needs some tips, please!

My 2y5m old is THROWING. He has always been a chucker. I have been trying to modify this behaviour since he was 6mo (and whacking kids at mothers' group with toys accidently).

The situation is now really getting out of hand. He has broken several of my things in recent times. I have also been asked by other parents to remove him in playgrounds. (That makes him sound like a horror, which he is not and is in fact usually very gentle and loving, but he cannot seem to control this particular behaviour.)

He has had a tough year. He now has a 3mo little brother who suffered bad reflux for 2 months. Our baby also has a neck condition requiring him to be held almost all the time he is awake. On top of this, I was very sick during my pregnancy, and am now battling with PND.

I understand he tends to throw for the following reasons (mostly):

he is overtired
he is frustrated
he wants attention

Unfortunately, I am not coping as well as I would like to being a mother of two and as much loving attention as I can give him is just not enough. He has realised that throwing my things that will break upsets me and gets a reaction, so they are top of the list at the moment.

I guess am after tips for the all of these things:
stopping him throwing

letting him know he is loved when I am completely worn to a crisp
being reassured that I haven't completely ruined my lovely little boy

I have tried pointing out things get broken/people get hurt/it makes me sad; I have tried gently removing him from a situation or distracting him; I have tried ignoring the behaviour; I have tried giving him more loving attention in different ways/at different times; and, to my horror, I have even caught myself resorting to the things I didn't/don't want to do (yelling, smacking, ostracism, super-nanny style time outs).

PLEASE HELP!!

Nat

strata · #2 (**permalink**) 29-09-2008, 09:39 PM

be reassured you haven't ruined your boy, he sounds perfectly normal, and intelligent. you could try putting everything breakable away or up in the short term, so its easier to ignore the issue? setting up some soft balls in a corner for him to throw, and direct him there when he throws?make a game of it? perhaps being allowed to may change the habit of doing something he's not allowed to do for attention???

marchbean · #3 (**permalink**) 02-10-2008, 12:28 PM

I agree with putting everything away that is breakable.
Maybe try verbalizing his frustrations for him?
Is there anyone who can help you out with taking your younger one so you can spend some one on one time with him?

I have to run, baby crying! But I hope you can find a solution. Hugs to you

~*WindofGrace*~ · #4 (**permalink**) 03-10-2008, 11:36 PM

Nat- *GBH* to you.

My DS is still a thrower ( I was going to say tosser, but then realised how that sounded...LOL). We've continued with the "That hurts people. stop".. things like that. I do see Brae coming out the other end some days..others... I just think it's pointless. Reading your post I could just feel your frustration!!!

So- something I just thought of was maybe make a special time each day for throwing (like a ball or something) You can find those really cheapy wall targets and velcro balls from the markets. Put it up outside and let him throw to hearts content? But then tell him that's the only time he can throw? Not sure how you DS's communication is yet, but something to try?