Do you use time outs?

[Greenmama2AJ]

I know that timeouts are THE popular discipline technique of the new millenium. Do you use timeouts?

I personally dont do time outs so I'm interested to hear what other natural mums feel about them.

Is Super Nanny your hero or foe? lol

[moneypenny]

Yes I do. I think Super Nanny is an idiot.

I use them if there are unsafe behaviours happening. For example, if my 7 year old is jumping on the bed and has been warned repeatedly that it is unsafe to his 3 year old brother. There is subsequently an injury to the 3yold, and the 7 year old is removed to his room or the lounge room because he could not moderate his behaviour to keep it in safe parameters.

I do not have a specific place or time for time outs, it is used to remove the child from the area so that we can talk about what happened and what they think they could have done different in the situation. I dont often leave the child by themselves for long if at all. If I do that, it is because I am settling the result of the actions, or getting myself prepared to be calm and open to talk to the child in question.

I feel that putting a child in timeout and leaving them there without an opportunity to discuss their feelings is not the correct way to deal with the situation. It can only lead to the child "taking on" everything that has happened and blaming themselves or just getting more angry and resentful.

[emd]

I don't like Super Nanny, but I was using time-outs before I'd heard of her.

We do time-outs for violent behaviour that doesn't stop when we tell them not to do it.
We also use it when kids are beyond themselves - having a tanty over trivial issues because they're too tired to function anymore. It's not a punishment, it's a mood breaker and an opportunity to be somewhere quiet and safe for a few minutes til they've calmed down.

Time out happens in their bedroom, and they're free to play with toys etc while in there. The aim is to get them into a space where they don't need to interact with others, so they can calm down without an audience watching, and can take a deep breath and think about what they really want from the situation they were in.
There is no time limit involved - they usually calm down in a matter of seconds or maybe a couple of minutes. Once the ranting and screaming stops, a parent goes in to give them a hug and talk about what's going to happen when they come out, and the child apologises to whoever they hurt if that's what happened.

[GreenGully]

No I don't.

[SKB]

We've just started to use them, but not because of Supernanny, she just irritates me.

My 7 yr old had been getting quite violent towards her 3 yr old brother. So if after being asked to stop, she won't, she is placed in her room until she can calm down. Then we go in to talk to her about the situation & better ways to have delt with it.

We have also used it if either of them is really worked up, either excitable or frustrated, & won't listen to what's being asked of them. Again there is no specifis time, just untill they have calmed down.

We've found it to work really well, especially with Amelia's aggressive behaviour. It gives everyone a chance to calm down, then deal with situation. We haven't had to use so much lately.

Toby is 4 & I wouldn't use it on anyone younger. He only just now understands that he isn't being punished or seperated from the rest of the family, he just needs some time to relax.

[meitaimama]

It sounds like those of you who do use time outs aren't doing it supernanny-style anyway - you're not using it as an arbitrary punishment but as a method to help them calm down or remove them from a dangerous situation.

[Marguerite]

Not so much a time out as a time in if it makes any sense at all. Sometimes one or both of them needs to take a breather from what they are doing and get busy with something else (jobs they can help me with), or just come and sit with me until the air has cleared.

I have been known to put myself in time out if I am really angry and need to settle down.

I have never watched Supernanny. Reading the threads here about the show when it first aired was enough to put me off.

[kristamumof3]

I use them and in much the same way as others have said. They are used for dangerous situations. My middle child is quite defiant and I use them because I often don't know what else I could do. He gets one warning and if he doesn't stop the dangerous activity then he gets put in his bedroom until he is calm then we talk about what happened and why I needed him to do as I asked. I would love to hear what others do instead if they don't use them at all especially if they have strong-willed, defiant children.

I don't love super nanny's methods but I do think that she has helped some completely out of control families reach a point where the children and/or parents feel heard and respected. I have to say that the show just highlights to me just how many families are dysfunctional. I do quite like what little I have seen of Rabbi Shmoley and Shalom in the Home.

[earthmummy]

Not any more. I tried it, but felt it just made things worse for both ds & myself. I gave it a go with timeout to room, time out to naughty mat, time out to couch, etc. All worked, but I felt as if it wasn't giving ds a fair chance to explain and discuss his behaviour.

Now it just works best if I communicate with words and express feelings and behaviour with ds. I give him the opportunity to "think about your actions" "think about your behaviour and how it makes you and I feel" etc. This works best for us - but I must say we don't have any other distractions (ie: other children/adults) in the house, so focus is just on ds.

I think it should be given a go as with other forms of discipline (I don't condone smacking, shutting in a room, being sent to another room etc) as each child and family situation is different and is best up to each individual parent to discipline their own child/ren.

[Deesalie]

No, we don't.