16mo Hair pulling

skaboo · #1 (**permalink**) 22-05-2008, 11:58 AM

My 16mo DD has always occasionally pulled my hair but lately seems to be doing so on purpose knowing that it upsets me. I have tried to calmly ask her to be gentle (like with the cat), pretended to cry so she gets that it hurts said ow etc etc. My patience is wearing thin, espec as I am now 10w pregnant, have been tired & nauseas, still BFing 2 hourly thru the night. She has been more emotional in general since I fell pregnant - ?hormones in breast milk or perhaps she senses there's another soul on board and that she will have to share me. Anyone had a similar experience, got any thoughts or ideas please?

marchbean · #2 (**permalink**) 23-05-2008, 10:07 PM

My bub is 14 months and likes hair pulling too

My only solution is tying my hair up

skaboo · #3 (**permalink**) 24-05-2008, 02:33 PM

Hi Vanessa

I have tried the same but she will still pull the pony tail or the short bits at the front & I'm just not ready to get a short Mummy hair do! Am hoping she will eventually grow out of it....but in the meantime was hopeful that someone may have a way to get the concept across to her that it HURTS!! Or perhaps I just have to wait till she is older for that too?

marchbean · #4 (**permalink**) 24-05-2008, 08:24 PM

I know what you mean, I have a lot of regrowth from when my hair fell out after having bubs, and he loves to pull on them - ouch! If he starts, I usually just put him down straight away. Sometimes he does it when he is nursing, so I just hold his hands. One thing I have noticed is he is more likely to do it when he is over tired. But definitely put her out of reach when she does it. You are probably right that she is sensing things are changing for her, with the pregnancy.

Hopefully some more experienced mums will have some answers for us

nelly · #5 (**permalink**) 28-05-2008, 10:37 PM

my baby was enerally quite rough, tied up hair, wore no jewellery, tried all sorts of ways to communicte to her that i didn't like it...somewhere around 2yo she just cut it out...

**Marguerite** · #6 (**permalink**) 29-05-2008, 02:58 AM

Welcome to NP Skaboo and Nelly

I look forward to seeing you around the forum.

Congratulations on your pregnancy Skaboo. Perhaps your LO is sensing that you are out of sorts so is feeling emotional. Pregnancy is tiring stuff, plus with your broken sleep it is no wonder your patience is wearing thin when she is pulling your hair.

At that age I found redirection to be the most useful way to discpline. In your situation I would use my regular voice to say that hurts Mummy and change the situation. If we were standing, I would sit and do something with her. If breastfeeding, I would end the feed even if it is just for a moment. Maybe a quick game of round and round the garden.

Once again, I look forward to getting to know you. You may wish to post in the Getting Acquainted forum so the whole community can welcome you.

skaboo · #7 (**permalink**) 30-05-2008, 06:06 PM

Thanks for your advice Lisa, I will give your suggestions a try. Will try & post in the GA forum now if she stays asleep long enough & I can type fast enough....

marchbean · #8 (**permalink**) 21-06-2008, 04:17 PM

We had some success with asking for high fives as soon as the hair pulling starts. It got worse after I posted here, so we got pretty strict with stopping play (which made him cry) but it was really getting bad

We didnt leave him alone or anything, just stood up or put him down. Anyway, just doing that a few days has really been successful. Now the only time he will do it is if he is extremely tired/wound up, which usually means its time for bed

**Marguerite** · #9 (**permalink**) 21-06-2008, 08:55 PM

I'm glad to hear that the phase is passing Vanessa.

sallyn · #10 (**permalink**) 04-07-2008, 12:55 AM

I would give her no attention when she pulls your hair. Move away from her for a minute. then give her loads of cuddles and mummy attention when she is being gentle. has she got hair? if so maybe you could try brushing her hair gently then get her to brush yours gently and give her lots of love when she is gentle with your hair. Model the behaviour you want to see her do, so being gentle with her hair should teach her how to be gentle with yours. if she is rough with the brush, show her again how to be gentle with the brush on her hair or daddy's. if she is rough again take the brush away and try again the next day.