Help with my 7 year old

[SKB]

I'm hoping someone can help me with my 7 yr old daughter. For the last few weeks she has been really rude, disrespectful & aggressive. She has always been headstrong, but has understood in a family of 5 everyone needs to co-operate for the house to run smoothly. But lately she has been really unhelpful. She is refusing to do any school work.

Like the other day we were going to the park, I was getting 1 yr old Nick ready & packing the bag, so I asked Amelia to choose her clothes, get dressed & put on her shoes as we were leaving in 30 mins. She said okay Mummy, but when the boys & I were ready, she was still in her pjs. When I asked her again to get ready & we would wait for her, she had a melt down, yelling & crying. An hour & a half later she was still going, & we missed the park because Nick had to have a sleep.

And yesterday I asked her what she wanted for lunch, & got her that. Then she decided she didn't want that anymore & again lost control. She is like this over everything we have to do throughout the day. I am finding it very tiring & frustrating. I'm also finding myself yelling at her, what is awful.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had their normally co-operative & helpful child turned confrontational & disresepctful almost overnight. Nothing in her life has changed, she is homeschooled, we haven't moved, there isn't a new baby in the house. I don't know if this is just a stage that she'll grow out of, or if something else is going on.

If anyone has any suggestions for helping the situation, or tips for how I can keep my cool, please let me know. I am in tears most nights because I'm finding it so distressing.

[kime]

Sorry to hear it has been so difficult lately. Maybe spending some time with her on her own may help, maybe what is bothering her will come to light. My kids are younger than yours - so no real experience with 7 year olds. Is it possible she is having a bad dream or has had a big experience with your larger community something scary as in illness etc.
Hope she feels better soon.

[hanabi]

We've had a similar run with my six year old and I put it down to settling into her new school routine with a very dominant teacher. I also wondered if perhaps she needed more sleep?

As I was doing the washing this morning I noticed a light discharge in her knickers. Aha! Her hormones are shifting methinks! Nothing major, but it could explain her recent moody episodes. She has levelled out again this past week but I will try to be more sympathetic in future.

[Xine]

I'm not sure I can offer any help but I was having the same discussion with a friend yesterday about her almost 7yo boy. He seems to be doing everything and anything to drive his Mum mad (including making a concoction out her nail polishes and bath salts). What he is doing seems attention seeking but who knows.........all our 6-7yo's are really tired from school and tiredness can cause some pretty extreme behaivours. But it could also just be a stage. Another developmental 'awareness' and thier way of finding some control in thier world.

My only advice is to offer some understanding - my son reacts best with positive understanding and it usually brings him back to neutral pretty quickly. Good Luck......

[Dorasmum]

All I can say is that when my 5 yr old gets a bit like this it's just an attempt to get my attention and it is distressing. She just got back from a week at grandma's - waited on hand and foot etc, and now she's back home she's been a bit narky.
I just try and keep calm, be consistent, and don't react any different to usual. I would say it was just a phase and she'll move through it.
Keep strong!!

Em

[SKB]

Hey, thanks everyone for the advice & support. We've had afew quiet days at home & Amelia seems to be settling down, hopefully with more time, attention & understanding my bueatiful little girl will be back soon!!

Cheers
Sarah