Gentle guidance + autism - is it possible??

[mumtotwo]

Hi

I need some new strategies! and desperately!

My little man is 6 and has autism. Although he is high functioning & so is very switched on and understands lots of things.

We are going through a stage at the moment though with lots of angry faces, yelling, huffing and puffing and storming away.

I lost it today and smacked him he just looked at me, rubbed his bottom and says "i wiped your smack off - ha ha ha - "

I just feel really powerless and frustrated with his behaviour. It's all "i want... i want... i want NOW" & it is really wearing me down.

To add to this, his 2 year old sister has now started mimicking him

HELP - before I go insane!!!!!!!!!

[Char]

Oh god, i am in exactly the same boat. I feel your pain!

I dont know if it is doable - we are struggling with this one too.

((hugs))

C xx

[JAK]

It's doable (I think) but also a lot of hard work. Don't feel too bad if you fall off the cart though.

We're still going through all the anger, yelling etc. We also have accusations of 'it's all YOUR fault'. We've been through hitting, biting, kicking and scratching. They are really tough times to go through.

We work constantly on emotions (we have a brand new book on how to react to different emotions and whether they are big, medium or small). One thing that seems fairly common is that have one intenstiy for each emotion - the biggest.

I use cool down time alot here - Jordan goes to his room for a break where we both take 5. I try not to discipline when angry, rather have that break first. In Jordans room are a variety of calm down toys, also his blankets which are his calmers.

I've smacked Jordan before when he's been completely out of control. Mostly for shock value I think, to get him to stop hurting me. Maybe not the best choice, but I can certainly understand where you're coming from.

One other thing I've noticed here is that Jordan doesn't always know when he's got an angry voice or an angry face. So I've been pointing them out to him and getting him to practice a happier or gentler tone etc. Because he doesn't recognise them in himself, he can't work out when their appropriate or not. He gets confused with the shades of emotions - happy and sad are fine, same with angry. But the others are still confusing, so he plays around with them - which frustrates me. But I've found explaining them has helped.

Lastly, if you can get some break times, they're always important for parents.

[bunty]

Currently battling this sort of stuff too, so I don't have any solid advice for you. I have resorted to smacking in the past - something in my head was telling me if he could only feel what it was like in return (as I was being punched and headbutted and kicked too). I haven't smacked in a long time. Just wanted to offer .

[mumtotwo]

Originally Posted by JAK

'it's all YOUR fault'.

Have you been listening to my house lately???

That one and "WHO CARES" are other favourite expressions.

Thanks so much for all your replies. I'm a newbie on NP forums and it's nice to see that I'm not the only one struggling with the ideal and the reality of parenting a "special" child