New Boyfriend Issues, Daughter not happy

Ang · #1 (**permalink**) 15-09-2007, 11:53 AM

I am posting this on behalf of a friend of mine.

He has recently begun a new relationship with a woman who has a 4 year old daughter.

His girlfriend (N) was still living in the same houseas her ex when she began dating W, and then soon after the ex moved out, and of course her 4 year old daughter felt very antagonistic towards W, the new boyfriend, seeing him as the reason her dad is now not living with them.

The daughter is kind of hot and cold, will give a hug one day, and give him evils the next. This has been going on for about 2 months now.

I said that the fact that he is getting hugs at all is great, and he is really keen to try to get along with the little girl, as he is quite serious about the relationship.

The daughter sees her dad regularly, and i think the parents have a pretty civil relationship.

I think personally it is a case of time, and for him to stay really positive and keep her feeling really included, as well as allowing time for the mum to have quality time with her daughter.

Any other tips I can pass on? He is 32 and has no kids of his own, so is really new to all of this stuff.

**monique** · #2 (**permalink**) 15-09-2007, 02:03 PM

i would say time and dont push the issue... let her come to him. She needs to vent her feelings somewhere and he is the easy target.... HTH

Dorasmum · #3 (**permalink**) 15-09-2007, 06:00 PM

Don't have much experience with this situation, but maybe I would say that you would have to expect some issues in the beginning, perfectly normal to. Give it lots of time, her lots of space and make sure that his contact with her Dad stays calm and friendly.

As far as him having no kids of his own, it's going to be a pretty steep learning curve so hang on!!

Oh and maybe start watching Dr Phil!!

Em