how to help toddler with anger

[jarrahsmumma]

Jarrah gets angry (shouting, hitting, screaming at me) maybe once or twice in the day. It usually lasts about 10 mins or so.

He gets so worked up i cannot talk to him to calm him, or even understand what the anger is about.

So i want to know, how do i help him through these rough spots??

do i just walk away and let him scream (i dont want him screaming in my face or Bonny's)
is there another method of calming him down

do i just let him go and sit beside him??

i am at a loss with this one. any ideas??
gtg..i think he is weeing in a bowl of popcorn

[gumbymumma]

dunno bout the anger, but the popcorn sounds good!

[Rinelle]

I would try to sit with him, and talk about it once he'd calmed down. Ask him why he's feeling angry, and discuss things he could do instead of yelling and screaming. That said, I wonder if it is really pretty normal at this age, and he will probably grow out of it?

Hope some other mums come along soon to give you some better advice, since I haven't actually been in the situation yet.

[justincredible]

sorry... dealing with two screamers here atm.... hormones. and it gets worse before it gets better. go make a cup of chai and then deal with him.

[JAK]

Originally Posted by Rinelle

I would try to sit with him, and talk about it once he'd calmed down. Ask him why he's feeling angry, and discuss things he could do instead of yelling and screaming. .

That's basically been my strategy. I found that at that age, emotions are so overwhelming that Jordan couldn't use words to describe it by himself. Once he'd calmed down, I would talk about the emotion 'You're feeling very angry right now' and also what the trigger was 'Having to stop that game is really frustrating isn't it'. This helped to validate his feelings and also give a name/voice to his feelings.

Giving alternatives to screaming/shouting is also really good. Though I'm not sure how quickly these are picked up (as an alternative to yelling). It can take time, but gradually it does pass.

It's definately a hard phase for us to go through too.

[alzarex]

hugs
lots of talking, books, one on one time with someone other than a stressed out mum and baby sister
when we had a bad day with A when Z was little as soon as DH walked in the door he got the baby girl and A and I would go do something just for him which gave us time to talk about stuff.
It will pass at some point but as the wise woman said hormones play a part and we've found that it just makes it all different as you are not only dealing with someone who is still learning communication skills but also dealing with changes in body balance that loads of adults I know don't deal with well

cyber chocolate and hugs to you

much love and playdates with us if you want xx

of course this is coming from someone who got to deal with a huge tantrum tonight because *someone* decided that he had indeed woken at morning time and it was Weetbix O'Clock rather than the actual 5 pm and heading out for dinner time that it actually was

[anakia]

Hi Nat. It's such a hard stage (for both of you).

I used to sit next to (or near) Anais depending on whether she was still hitting or had calmed down a bit. I would often encourage her to "breathe in, breathe out" with me to calm down (also helped me ). When she had calmed down we'd talk it over and have lots of hugs.

Something else I found useful was re-establishing a massage after bath/shower each night. It was something that had been forgotten with the transition from baby to toddler and that reconnection really helped.

I think it's definately a stage they all go through. Anais was still an only child when she went through it so it wasn't related to sharing me with another sibling or anything. Just a build up of emotion that needed a release.

Good luck

Jen

[jarrahsmumma]

Thanks guys. i think i need to keep calm myself and not let his anger get to me. Like i will get upset if he is yk?

I guess going to make a chai and sitting near him would be something i could see helping him....and me.

and for the record, he didn't wee in the popcorn, he was just driving his trucks through the bowl.