Giving dirty looks and not holding my hand

[~Luna~]

I am nervous about taking Aiden in public
He refuses to hold my hand when we walk and he takes off like a rocket. I was considering getting one of those harnesses but they remind me of dog leashes
How do I get him to hold my hand? He flat out refuses!!!

My other concern is that when people look at him and smile at him, he gives them greasies he even does this for family members.
The only people he will smile for are, me, Dad, his sisters and grandparents.
It's so embarassing because I like people to interact with him cause he's just such a looker but they look at me and him weird when he stares them out
is this normal for a 20 month old? My girls were never like this.. they are real social butterflies

[Lysianna]

As you know, Im just learning about boys this time round. I have found K to be fairly 'cool' with lots of people even family. Kinda just get this real serious look while he decides if he's gonna give ya a smile or not!
I'll be watching to see what others experience is...

[bunty]

If he won't hold your hand, tell him you are going to hold his shirt and then do so. Often they prefer hand holding to shirt holding anyway, so he may choose the hand afterall . It's a matter of safety so it's not really negotiable.

I wouldn't be worried about him giving dark looks to anyone. He should be entitled to have any look on his face that he likes .

[sahras mum]

I have definite rules when we are out shopping, around cars or around roads. It is either 'hand' or 'hip' (sling) so Sahra learnt early that I don't compromise on it. If she refused, I would just calmly pick her up and carry her - either back to the car or over the danger area.

Re the taking off, I didn't have that problem, more the fact that Sahra couldn't sit still or just wouldn't want to be there. I just did very, very short shops or got DH to look after her. Made it less stressful for her. Even now, the minute she starts to get bored, I just go. I know it won't get any better...

re the face looks, it's completely natural for him to not take to strangers! That is a normal part of growing up and it's really not something to be worried about. It's an essential survival trait, in fact! Sometimes Sahra goes and takes to people, sometimes she doesn't want a bar of them. I think thats pretty normal.

[~Luna~]

The shirt suggestion may work.. I can already see how much he would hate that
We call him Dora..cause he constantly wants to explore.. and he's soooo independant.. hense not wating to hold my hand.. he kind of strutts when he walks like he's all grown up

[Hailstorm]

He sounds pretty cute with his strutt
Hailey chucks ripper greasys in fact MIL has referred to them as devil looks (she's lovely my MIL )
We went through the running off stage, so we usually get a trolley and bribe her with a fresh juice or something like that, she has her days where she will walk with us and days where shewill bolt but I have been quite firm with her about running off and she now knows that it's not ok, she knows to hold my hand when we cross roads etc (she learnt that by going to Rach's everyday haha)
I hate the leads as well I've seen some cute ones (well I thought they looked cute...in the box) they are like a little backpack in the shape of a monkey or puppy etc but when the tail is being held by the parents it still looks like they're walking the dog...don't want to offend anyone who uses them but I really can't stand them...
Anyway my SIL's kids are so good when they go out they know not to go out of her sight, and they always 'help' with the shopping haha, maybe asking him ot get things of the shelf fo ryou might work that way he'll be too busy sorting through which packet of toilet paper would best suit the trolley to remember running away?

[Bronnie]

you can get backpack leashes. to me, it was leash or accident (or worse!). leash won

[hanabi]

I wouldn't worry about the dirty looks. Who cares what people think, yk?

But the hand holding, I have a few strategies, including the shirt holding one that Cherise mentioned.

I keep the hand holding to strictly essential times and twist it around so that *I'm* the one who needs my hand held. We have a 'buddies to cross the road' rule. Maybe Aiden is too young to get it yet but my three year old has always hated hand holding but he will always come hold my hand when I stop and say, "I can't cross the road without a buddy," or, "I need some help here," or a bit of a white lie, "I'm too scared to do it by myself."

[Meridith]

I like that, Jodie. I think I will have to wait until the empathy kicks in more for my DD though. She'd currently just shake her head at me saying, "Oh dear mum, what are you go-ning to do? I just can't hold your hand this time."

Running away is a not-negotiable. We have a few not-negotiables here and when they need to be enforced there is always screaming and kicking/thrashing around, very verbal protests of how I don't love her (DD) anymore and that I'm hurting her. That doesn't make the issues more negotiable but I do oftentimes feel sick to my stomach about outings when I think they might result in a public display of rage.

Recently, I saw a little girl in a harness. It was quite confronting actually...but the girl was running ahead (sorta ) exploring and her pregnant mummy was waddling behind her. I think that if it's the compromise you two reach then great. I can imagine that my child would insist that she needs to hold the strap/handle/tail herself and that in itself might result in previously mentioned display or rage, but hey, I haven't ruled it out.

[~Harmony~]

Hannah went through a not wantign to hold my hand, but she never ran off though. I think it was about balance - holding my hand meant having one arm way up in there air and it wasn't comfy. I bought a wrist strap thing but she never liked it until she found it recently and then wanted to wear it everywhere - holding the end herself