Sleep issues for 3yo's

[lucky_mummy]

This is just a quickie, does anybody have any tips for sleep problems in a 3yo. We have never had a problem with her before, not more than the usual baby development stuff... We have co slept since a few months when I realised that was much easier for us. She has never had a bed time, she just went to sleep when she was tired.

That has always worked well for us, as she always falls asleep immediately after our lights are turned off, if she hasn't fallen asleep herself already.

Lately she has been getting more than cranky when she doesn't fall asleep early in the night. I know that is pretty expected for a 3yo who is dropping her day sleep. But instead of going to sleep, she is fighting it and us. So we decided she should be helped to go to sleep when she starts getting cranky and tired, if not before.

We have just started trying the bath and bed for the first time in her life, but of course with one of us up with her in bed until she falls asleep. That is all good in theory, and she seems to understand what the routine is for, but each night is ending up with screams and tears, from all of us!

What is a gentle way to teach her to fall asleep? I can't believe I am asking to teach a toddler to go to sleep, but yes that is what I need to do for her, only to make it a less hurtful occasion for her.

Linda.

[~Harmony~]

A friend, while visiting, started with about 10 books after bath time, starting with high energy stuff and winding down to more sleepytime ones, by the end, they were almost asleep on the couch (Hannah thought it was wonderful, I'll only read one maybe two!) and over time she cut it down to just a couple. Persevere with the routine, try and start it before she gets tired. If dinner is going to be late, I get Kim to bath Hannah while it's cooking instead of after dinner when she's more tired and prone to meltdowns. I also used to lie or sit with her and sing a lullaby, then stay for progressively shorter periods, promising to come back in the next ad/after the dishes, but she's usually asleep by then. I would go back quite a few times when she went through her calling out period, but after about 8 times and I was sure she didn't have any pressing need like thirst or hunger or being scared, I would firmly say she needed to sleep and no more calling out or she'd still be awake calling out at 10pm and be a mess the next day.

OK just re-reading - what part of the process is she getting upset over - bath, or actually being in bed, or all of it? I've found if Hannah is crying or chucking wobblies, it means it's too late and she's already overtired. For a while we were getting her into bed at 7.30 on the dot, she would go happily and quickly to sleep and wake up happy and refreshed 12 hours later. For months though it's been much later, and things have been going from bad to worse...with summer light I just cannot get Kim to finish work at the proper time and be in on time for dinner to get bedtime happening properly Oh well, summer doesn't last forever Anyway an hour makes a hell of a difference to a 3 year old at that time of night - 7.30 Hannah is radically different to 8.30 Hannah, IYKWIM?

Other suggestions I've seen here are meditations to do together or prayer if that is more your style, massage might help, Hannah loves a massage occasionally.

Speaking of bedtime...I must go finish my kitchen and get there myself - went at midnight last night and up at 6.20am (Kim asked me who I was, getting up at that hour )

[lucky_mummy]

Thanks for that, it just looks like we need to perservere a bit more from the sounds of that. I don't know if we can possibly have an exact bed time each night, but we can do the dinner, bath bed thing I think.

She had been getting upset through the night, big problems, throwing things, hitting, screaming. Now she is seeing some sort of routine, well it has only been a few days that we have tried it, she happily goes for a bath after dinner. We do work on it for a couple of hours before though, building it up.

Then when she hits bed, again happily, that is where the trouble starts. She says she is not tired, doesn't want to lie down, wants to do all sorts of things, and gets un reasonable and frustrated over the tiniest of things. I am usually in the lounge with bubs, while daddy tries to put her to bed, or vice versa. I did try with all of us going to bed, but she was creating such a stir that she was waking Kai up. So now it is one parent with her.

It is torture for me because I hear her screaming and crying for sooo long before she finally calms down. It is torture for the parent in there also who is having a big battle.

I don't mind the work, although it would be too much for me to have an exact bed time, I am mainly asking all of this because I feel bad for her that bed time is being such a trauma and I want to make it easier on her.

Linda.

[Artemis]

We had some dramas too with the night time routine.
Here is a thread I started about it with some great suggestions from other members
http://www.forums.naturalparenting.c...hlight=bedtime

We found a night time pattern that seemed to fit - dinner, bath, books, bed with a meditation and over the past few months it has really become llike second nature and is fairly smooth every night. We still have the occasional really late night - but rarely!

Good luck

[DHA_mama]

Linda, I hear you. I'm struggling with the same here a 3 year old that usually resists sleep. No answers here. One thought though, I'm finding with a newborn that that really seems to be tiring my 3 year old out more so than before the birth. Could that be a factor for you too? I'm hoping it will settle down more in the next 4 or 5 months, but maybe that is a little hopeful!

Artemis started this lovely thread recently on meditation with children
http://www.forums.naturalparenting.c...ad.php?t=22232

[~Harmony~]

read the books in bed so she is relaxed in there? that's if she sits still for reading I found a fixed time helped get things settled at the start, now it works pretty much any time...just as well because with a newborn it could be anytime

[mummabare]

gee we are still boobing it here lol - but dillon is dropping the nap too.
Lst night it was 10 when he finally tired himself out before that it was 8.30

We have been doing evening outtings which help him burn out a bit - just a long walk, the other night we did kings park and he fell asleep on thw way home. tonight he is going to the inlaws with his dad while i do some party stuff.

is something like that an option?

[sienna]

My DD hit 3 and 2 months later we are struggling too. SHE DOES NOT WANT TO GO TO BED. Fights it and fights it. 2 hours last night to get her to sleep - no suggestions here unfortunately.!

[lizlea]

something that worked for my dd at around that age was giving her a torch. She had to stay in bed but could play with the torch if she did. We found one that had a squeeze mechanism so if she wasn't squeezing it it gradually faded till the light was off. And we have had the dinner, bath, teeth and toilet then 2 stories forever. I only stopped reading A a bedtime story this year and she is 10.

[lucky_mummy]

I very much doubt I could get her to meditate, but wouldn't it be lovely?

A week on and she is actually asking to have a bath and loves a bed routine. We don't have an early time, or a set time, goodness my hubby is in bed with her right now and unless he has fallen asleep it is likely she is not asleep yet.

But the great news is she is not screaming now. She just happily asks us to have a bath, and happily goes off to bed. Fantastic.

We really didn't have to do anything too bad. We did try to force the issue by telling her she must have a bath and must go to bed, for about a week. After many screams, but never leaving her alone as we are totally against that on such a little one, but she has happily accepted a 'bed time' now.

Very pleased, and now touching wood.

Linda.