should I stop or try to build it up again? need help / advice!

[lizmac]

ok - here is the back story (sorry if it is too long)

Bub #2 is 8.5 months old. I had trouble breastfeeding (used nipple shields for flat nipples, very fussy baby due to overactive letdown - solved by offering only 1 side per feed, etc) but managed to breastfeed for 8 months. Bub refused to take bottles or solids until a few weeks ago. He did not gain any weight between 4 & 6 months and he was definitely taking less when breastfeeding despite my best efforts. Finally I got him to take a bottle so that we could monitor his intake & try to get some weight gain happening. I intended to express for as long as possible & feed him EBM as formula gives him a slight rash around his mouth wherever the liquid touches.

He is now finally taking quite large amounts of solids 3 times a day so I am not as worried about his weight anymore but my question is about the EBM feeding. As his feeds had dropped off a lot before I began pumping, I can only pump 120mL max (total from both sides) per session. (In comparison when he was younger & feeding well I could get anywhere from 400 - 700mL in one session). I am very busy with 2 very clingy boys - 2 years & 8 months old so my pumping sessions have dropped to 2-3 times per day without my realising it. Now I cannot seem to make more than 250mL per day.

I am EXTREMELY depressed about stopping breastfeeding. I cannot explain it - breastfeeding this time round was really hard - he would kick & scratch me & scream and for the first month or two I had to feed him every 1-2 hours. So it hasn't been all lovely & beautiful bonding.... and I know I am not "really" breastfeeding now - just bottlefeeding EBM.... but still - the thought of losing the ability to nurture my child in this way makes me burst into tears.

So my question(s) are this -
1) should I keep up with the pumping? in some ways I want to stop but I feel like I need someone to tell me its ok to stop.... but like I said the thought of losing my supply & thus the ability to feed is really sad for me right now....
2) if I do decide to keeping going - will pumping more often increase my supply again? I don't know if I want to go to the lengths of trying all the herbs, lactation cookies etc as well.... could I build up my supply again from almost nothing with just extra pumping alone? or are the supplements needed?
3) any advice for either stopping or continuing?


thanks for your help

[emd]

Have you called the Australian Breastfeeding Association? There are other women who pump EBM exclusively, and ABA will be able to help with keeping your supply going if that's what you'd like to do. If you're too shy to phone a counsellor, try reading the info on their website: Australian Breastfeeding Association
What you're doing is very hard, and you shouldn't have to do it alone.

I've been in the position having to decide if it's time to wean because my breastfeeding difficulties are too much for me to cope with. The first time around, I weaned when my baby was not much younger than your boy. It was truly an awful experience - I was not emotionally ready to stop doing something that I so strongly believed was best for my baby. The second time around, I kept feeding even though I wanted to wean. It was so very hard, but in the end I was so happy that I persisted. Breastfeeding is hard, but sometimes bottle feeding is worse.

Only you can know whether you have reached the point where it's too much for you. But while you're thinking about all this stuff, keep pumping. Breastfeeding doesn't have to be all-or-nothing, and every feed you give your baby is a wonderful thing. And pumping IS breastfeeding - just with a little extra help. You should definitely get the gold medal for doing this for so long - be proud of what you've done for your boy.

[~*WindofGrace*~]

I agree. Call the ABA, they are great for those things...

Have you tried putting him to the breast again? I know you mentioned scratching but now that he is older he might see it differently?

Not much more advice, It certainly wouldn't hurt to try and continue pumping more and see if that works!

Good luck!!

[lcorteen]

Yes, here here! You have done a wonderful thing for your baby and no mean feat with a toddler to entertain as well - you should feel proud, whether you keep going or not.

Not sure where you are, but I got fantastic help and support from the Breastfeeding centre at King Edward Hospital in Perth. They helped me get my supply up from about 25-50ml per feed to about 80ml when my first daughter was a few weeks old.

Big hugs to you. xx

[timestwo]

I had trouble throughout breastfeeding in regards to supply, it was kind of like my milk never really 'came in'
I used to pump after every feed (even thoughout the night) which was truly exhausing (and I didn't have other children to take care of)
The Breastfeeding Clinic at KEMH was okay for us but the ABA gave some good advice about trying to put my DS on my breast as often as a could even to comfort him and chill out a bit on the expressing. They were really supportive.
So far in my parenting experience Breast Feeding has been the hardest thing for me, I thought it would be soooo different. But I hope it will get easier with the new bubba
Good luck to you and let us know what happens

[lizmac]

okay so I definitely think I am not ready to stop breastfeeding and I know that my bub will be happy with that decision cause he prefers the EBM to formula. So I think I will try to put him back on the breast instead of pushing the expressing so much. I just tried a feed before his nap and it was great - I almost cried again cause I realised how much I had missed having that closeness with him. (I seem to be very emotional these days... must be a hormone thing )

but if I stop with the bottles - will he be getting enough? (I guess that's always the question isn't it). Like I said in the OP, I can only express 250mL per day now and this week he has been having 500-600mL per day of EBM & formula. Will I need to supplement him somehow? What would you recommend? And do you think my supply can come back from being so low just with feeding often (remembering I have to use nipple shields so the sensation is a little weakened) or do I need to do all the other things like brewers yeast, oatmeal, linseed meal, fenugreek etc....

BTW I am in north Brisbane - does anyone know of anywhere I can go to see someone about this?

thankyou so much for your replies - you ladies are so supportive!

[Nyree]

I'd be lucky to express 20ml at a time, let alone 120ml, but babies are MUCH more efficient at getting the milk out than pumps are My DD was always at the high end of the weight scale. As long as there are about 6 wet nappies a day, he will be getting enough. There are several teas/herbal tinctures available to support milk production. Check your local health food store or do an internet search.

[emd]

Definitely call the ABA! They are lovely people, very friendly and also VERY knowledgeable about supply issues and nipple shields and pumping. Hopefully there's a meeting in your area soon with a counsellor who can help you face-to-face as well.

Lovely news about the feed you just did. Even if he's not getting much actual milk, the process of putting him to the breast fulfils lots of emotional development needs. And your supply will increase over time.

If you try to cut down on the formula, he might wake at night for an extra feed. This is actually a good thing - most women find that overnight feeding (when their prolactin levels peak) actually helps build up supply. It also gives you a good indication of whether he actually needs the formula top-up, or is just taking it because it's offered and it's easier than eating solid foods.

But definitely call the ABA. All the counsellors I've met so far have told me about various breastfeeding difficulties they had to overcome themselves, so they know what it's like to work through the hard stuff.

[lcorteen]

Hooray for you to have a lovely experience feeding again!

Yes, call the ABA - face to face support was my saviour, as I said. I actually weighed my DD before and after feeds to see how much she was getting (because noone believed me that there was no supply). It was great because I didn't have to guess and wait to see whether she continued to stay the same weight etc. but I suppose that would be easier with a new bub than an 8mo.

I also found night feeding really upped my supply. and Just letting her comfort suck, which she loved. I also used to visualise floods of milk gushing out when I fed and express - like the niagra falls in milk!! LOL I think that helped too... even if just to relax me.

xx

[kadownie]

What a beautiful Mumma you are!!

Pumping is hard work- good on you! There is an amazing lactation consultant in Brisbane who works with the ABA- if you would like her name PM me..

Again- I congratuate you on your perseverance!!