Eden's Birth

[Earth Mama]

And the birth of my 2nd cherub

Sorry this one is quite lengthy to read......it was wonderful to write though

As with my previous pregnancy - I experienced many weeks of strong Braxton Hicks contractions prior to Eden's actual birth. Having had a quick birth last time - we were all prepared for a speedy entry with this next baby - so I had prepared very early on for the possibility of another unassisted birth. This time round we had chosen to have only 1 midwife as I knew I could birth at home, expected there to be little fuss - and dearly wanted to keep this birth as intimate as I could - which meant that I wanted as few people there "observing" as I could manage. It was important to me that this birth be a "family event" - not something that needed an audience to happen. I had planned all along to have Finn present through the whole thing and I felt that Dan would be fine to support him - leaving my midwife to step in and support me when she was needed.

Expecting to go overdue - I was really pleased when I went into labour a day early with Eden. It was Xmas Eve - and with no sign of contractions at 7am - Dan went off to work as normal with a firm reminder to me that I was to call him on the first sign of any labour - he was determined not to miss the birth of this baby!

I decided my labour had started just before 3pm as I sat sewing, putting the finishing touches to a nativity set that I was making for Finn for Christmas Day. I sat and sewed and watched Finn play for about 1/2 hr - enjoying the seemingly mild cramps and this quiet early start. I was determined to have the sewing finished that afternoon - as I really wanted to have these little things on our altar for the next day. I also needed to get a few things from the supermarket for our Christmas lunch the next day and had promised Finn we would go and feed the ducks one last time before Santa came - so I decided that I wouldn’t be ready to have this baby until all my "jobs" had been done and I was safely home again.

I sewed my last few stitches into the nativity figures at about 3.30pm and told Finn we would just go out for a quick visit to the ducks - asking him to ready himself for the car. My fairly mild contractions were still only coming every 15mins minutes or so...I was happy to have some fresh air and spend some last time with my big boy before I gave birth to this new little one. I called Dan and asked him not to be late home from work...said I thought something was happening - but still didn't think I was in true labour! I didn't know it at the time - but he jumped straight in the car and started heading home - because he knew that I probably didn't have as much time as I thought and being Christmas Eve he wanted to beat the traffic.

Finn and I set off for the ducks – the pond was about 15mins away and I felt fine. I popped into the supermarket on the way – having one contraction in the middle of the bread aisle much to the ignorance of my fellow shoppers – and then jumped back into the car to make our way to the duck pond. It wasn't until we threw the first piece of bread into the pond that I knew things were really happening - and from there I quickly became aware that I needed to get home. I laugh now as I write this and envision myself panting and telling Finn that he should "just throw the whole lot over the edge as the ducks were really hungry today"! He didn't buy it and so I ended up having to say "The baby is coming - we need to go home!" to which he excitedly agreed to and we jumped back into the car.

I drove all the way home experiencing contractions that were about 3 minutes apart! Sounds unbelievable - but I was honestly still feeling good and was experiencing very little "pain" through the tightenings. I was actually smiling to myself, wondering how many people driving along next to me would ever have guessed I was in labour as I drove merrily along the Greensborough bypass!

We met Dan in our driveway at around 4:30pm. Even though I hadn't expected to see him - I was very glad. It felt time for me to hand my care of Finn over in order to focus on the birth and so it was lovely to be able to kiss him hello and then hermit myself away in our bedroom to gather some focus on what was happening in my body. As with Finn's birth, I felt most comfortable kneeling - so I made myself a little nest of pillows for my knees on the floor and then burrowed my head into some more pillows on the bed as I breathed and rocked myself through the contractions. As with Finn's birth - I felt most comfortable labouring alone...so I was happy to be given this time to just ride out the waves and centre myself for what was to come.

Dan came in about 15 minutes later and asked me if he should ring our midwife. Even though I knew it was definitely happening now - I still felt I needed some more time, before I was ready for her to arrive. He reminded me how quickly Finn had been born and yet agreed that we needed to call her when I felt it was time - rather than when he felt it was the right thing to do. We had already discussed this issue of "when to call" with our midwife during our last few antenatal visits - and she had agreed that we should make the call when I was ready to have her there. We had all discussed that this could potentially cause her to miss the birth - but being the fabulous "trusting" soul that she is - she knew the most important thing to ensure was for me to feel comfortable all the way along - and there was absolutely no point in her being there if it was going to inhibit me and slow the labour down.

So Dan left me alone for another 10minutes until I called him back and told him I wanted her there now. I knew this baby was going to arrive soon and I was ready to start preparing to give birth. It was about 4:50pm by the time Dan made the call to tell Joy I was in labour.

As soon as I heard Dan say "She's on her way", my contractions started to become really strong. For the first time all afternoon, I needed to stop what I was doing and really breathe my way through them. When Dan came back to check on me, I told him "The baby will be here soon" to which he said "You know Mel - we'll never get that pool filled in time - but do you want me to start trying?". We both laughed - as all through my pregnancy we had hotly debated the issue of whether we should hire a birthing pool or not - Dan had insisted we were never going to have time to fill it - and I was fixed on the lovely idea of having a big deep pool to float about during my labour - and now here we were seemingly very close to me giving birth - discussing whether we would have time to fill a pool that needed about 2hrs to fill to the top!

With it obvious that I was going to give birth really soon - we very quickly agreed that the bath was going to be the "place" again! So over the next 10 minutes, we started to prepare the bathroom for what was about to happen. Feeling most comfortable to walk as I laboured - I joined Dan in his job of moving all the things we would need out of our spare room and into the bathroom - blankets, towels, a heater, baby clothes, camera etc. When everything was ready - I sat down on our toilet and rode myself through the next few contractions. The bath was full now - but feeling so hot with the labour - I didn't want to get in until the very end.

I spent the next 10 minutes or so alone in the toilet, enjoying the quiet and readying myself for the actual birth. As with Finn's birth - I had about 5 minutes of complete stillness as my contractions stopped and my body passed through transition in preparation for 2nd stage.

With Finn I had felt a moment of fear at this time - as I hadn't had anyone to reassure me that this was a normal feeling and that I was "just moving through transition"....the movement of my pelvic bones and the sensation of my baby's head coming down had felt so incredibly strange and it wasn't until I had noticed my shaking that I knew I was close to birthing my baby. This time round - I welcomed this time of transition - as I knew it was the signal for 2nd stage and that I was very close to meeting my baby.

I climbed into our very full (but small!) bath and called out to Dan to let him know it was time. He came in holding a piece of toast and asked me if I could wait until he'd finished making Finn a toasted cheese sandwich! I laughed as I realised that this absurd comment was what made homebirth so beautifully normal......no matter what is happening for the labouring woman - life continues to go on as normal around you. I agreed but told him to hurry - I knew it was only a matter of minutes till the baby would be born.

Within a few moments, Dan and Finn were alongside me with toasted cheese sandwich and the picture book "Hello Baby" (which we had read to him every day over the past few months) in tow. Dan made Finn comfortable up on the bench of our vanity so he could have his hands free to "catch" the baby. I had my eyes firmly shut by now - but I could hear Finn's little voice asking Dan what was happening and listened as Dan explained very quietly to him (using the book as a guide) how I needed to work "really hard" to get the baby out. Unlike my almost silent 2nd stage with Finn - I groaned a bit as I was working to push Eden out. The urge to push was so incredibly strong this time - which really surprised me - as with Finn I had absolutely no urge to push at all - he had literally just slipped very quickly out of my body.

As I pushed through my last few contractions, Finn hung onto Dan's back and peered intently over his shoulder as he watched our baby emerged from inside me. I had an enormous big contraction that felt like a head coming - and as I reached down I felt my waters gush through the bathwater against my hand. I willed my baby to be born saying out loud "Come on baby!” With the next push - I felt the most beautiful velvety sensation I had ever experienced - my baby's head had been born - and I remember saying with enormous relief "Thank goodness!" - it was so wonderful to know I was through the hardest part. As I rested and waited for the next push to birth the body - I heard Finn's little whispery voice filled with such awe and wonder as he told Dan "There's the baby's eyes, nose, mouth...." - and heard Dan reply with incredible happiness "Yes that's right". With another 2 pushes - my baby had been born in full and Dan brought him to the surface of the water. I turned myself around (rather awkwardly in that tiny bath) and gathered him up in my arms to gaze adoringly into his eyes and say "Hello". It was 5:15pm.

There was such incredible happiness and love in my heart as I shared those first moments alone with Dan, Finn and our new baby. My heart was bursting with pride as Finn lent in and touched and kissed his brother's wet little head only minutes after he was born. Together we discovered he was a boy - much to our surprise - but a wonderful confirmation for Finn who had insisted he was having a brother throughout the last few months of my pregnancy.

We had to work for some time to encourage Eden to breathe after he was born. He was quite blue and flat for about the first 5 minutes and so we had to keep blowing on his little face and rubbing his little body until he had pinked up and was breathing steadily on his own. For me, this time felt really short as I knew intuitively that my baby was ok. I knew the cord was still pulsating and so he was still getting oxygen. For Dan these minutes felt like an eternity as he waited for our baby to spring into life and breathe on his own. As I watched and waited it felt like he was still hovering around in spirit - waiting for the moment to incarnate. I knew he was "there" and felt that he just needed some time to decide to join us.

When he finally "arrived", Eden gave a lustily cry for about a minute before he settled into the warm water and opened his eyes to look around at us all. It was very light in our bathroom being a summer afternoon - so he peered at us through squinty little eyes as we quietly welcomed him and stroked his little body. Within another 15 minutes, our midwife arrived and came softly into the bathroom to kiss me and say hello to our baby. She was so proud and told me I had done a "Fantastic Job"! In her quiet unassuming way, she sat down next to our bath and just watched me for a while until I said I was getting cold and wanted to get out of the bath. The placenta still hadn't arrived and the afterpains were causing me a lot of back pain.

With my baby wrapped up warmly in my arms, Joy and Dan helped me step out of the bath and onto a chair. She gently guided me through the process of attaching my baby to my breast - which was great - as it had been 3 years since I had fed a newborn and I was feeling rather awkward.

For the next hour or so, Eden fed greedily as I cuddled him tight and enjoyed the precious warm glow that follows an empowered birth. My afterpains continued and were very uncomfortable, but it took quite some time longer before the placenta finally did emerge. For the first hour I was just happy to sit and wait - but as the afterpains continued and the placenta still hadn't come - I started to feel that I really wanted it out. Joy asked me what I felt like doing and I said "I want to give it a tug".....I knew her thoughts on cord pulling (she would never advise it on behalf of a midwife) and so I asked her if that was ok. She said that if it felt right to me, then it was ok. I gave the cord a few gentle tugs to no avail....so I moved onto the toilet to see if some squatting would help. I called out to Dan to bring me some Arnica as Joy felt that the wait might have been due to some shock on my behalf following my speedy birth. Within about a minute of taking the pill, I could feel the placenta at the opening of my vagina. Joy told me to stand up to help it out and as soon as I did - it plopped out with a big, juicy splash into my mixing bowl that was waiting below!

Joy laughed as she told Finn (who was watching and waiting eagerly alongside me) that this was a very big, healthy placenta. She turned it over and examined it - showing him all the different parts and explaining how it had given our baby oxygen and food while he was inside me. Once she had decided that all was well - Dan and her wiped down my bloody legs with a warm washcloth and helped me into some clean pants so I could jump into our warm bed next door.

It felt good to have finally finished my birth and let of my placenta. Although it felt like a shorter time to me, Joy later told me that my placenta took nearly 2 hrs to arrive. Looking back on this 3rd stage of Eden's birth now, I feel greatly indebted to Joy for her incredible patience and trust in allowing me to have this time without pressuring me to "get it out". From our extensive discussions about my previous birth and experience of 3rd stage, she knew it was important to me that I be given as much time as I needed to hold, feed and bond with my new baby. I had felt with Finn's birth - that I had been rushed through this early time after he was born (being encouraged to take a shower to wash off the blood etc)and had lost the chance to really take advantage of that "rooting reflex" that newborns possess closely following birth. When I had finally gotten the chance to put him to my breast, he had been sleepy and fairly disinterested and it wasn't until another 2 days later and some anxiety on my behalf that I felt that we had established our breastfeeding relationship in true. It was the only thing I regretted about Finn's birth - so I was determined that this time round, I would make sure I had plenty of time to just "be" with my baby without feeling any pressure to relinquish him to another pair of hands to get on with the job of cleaning up or birthing a placenta that could "just wait" till I was ready. Joy respected this wish and I got as much post-birth bonding time as I needed - which ended up being quite a lot!

With my baby still firmly attached to my breast, I finally made my way into our bedroom where I could have the chance to lie down to rest and snuggle with all my boys. We gave Finn the honour of making the first phone-call to announce Eden's birth and he sat up very proudly next to me in the bed and told my mum all about the birth and his new little brother. Joy did a wonderful job of nurturing myself and my little family through the next hour. After organising tea and toast for me, she set about weighing and measuring Eden whilst always making sure Finn was kept closely involved in the whole process. Once all the formalities were over, we dressed our tiny boy and tucked him into our bed. After helping Dan tidy up - which was as simple as pulling the bath plug and tossing a few towels into the washing machine, Joy gave us one last kiss each, congratulated us on a wonderful birth and left to get back to her own family in preparation for Christmas the following day.

With night upon us, we tucked our big boy into his bed and had a quick dinner of sandwiches. We made the final preparations for Christmas morning out under our tree (to ensure Santa was coming!) and then climbed into bed with our dear new little boy sleeping soundly between us. All was well in our world!


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[Joey]

Oh that is such a beautiful story too Melinda. It sounds like it was just a magical experience for Finn as well as you and Dan. I am still crying after reading both of your stories! I don't think I would ever want to stop having children if I had such magical births!

LOL at Finn and the ducks!!

[Bronnie]

Wow, Melinda. What an absolutely amazing gift you've given Finn. That story was just incredible!

[Jakaluma]

More tears! What wonderful, wonderful birth stories.

[bunty]

You are truly an amazing woman! What a wonderful story and incredible way to welcome your second son into your family .

[SungaiKecil]

Perfect. Beautiful and perfect.

[hanabi]

I'm feeling inspired now! Thanks Melinda!

[Rach]

Thank you Melinda, for your beautiful birth story of Eden.

[Earth Mama]

I don't think I would ever want to stop having children if I had such magical births!

Ahhh Jo if I could I would! 2

We have video footage of me the day after Eden was born saying that I felt so inspired and empowered I could do it over and over again...Dan is behind the camera and he asks me how many babies I felt were still to come.....2.....at that point I felt as if I could birth a hundred babies!

I always say after my own and other women's births - that if we could bottle the feeling that mothers have in the days/weeks following empowered birth.....we'd all have 10.

If only parenting many, many children was always as easy and magical as my births are!

Even though I am often tempted to have lots more.....I honestly only believe there is probably one more waiting in the wings...

LOL at Finn and the ducks!!

2 Jo - this is almost my favourite part of the whole story!
It was such a funny, surreal experience to have during labour....but also so incredibly precious to share this last time with Finn doing his most favourite thing in the whole world. People have since asked me why on earth I would have gone out in the car at that point in the labour...but I am so glad I did. I really felt like it gave me incredible closure of my "solo" time with my firstborn....there was a lot going on behind the scenes as we stood together and fed those ducks as just "2" for the very last time......

What an absolutely amazing gift you've given Finn

Yes I think so too Bronnie....it was so wonderful to have Finn alongside me.....to hear his little voice....to share the wonder of new life with him. I believe we have the most powerful influence on our children in regard to passing on beliefs and patterning when we allow them to bear witness to such events as empowered birth, extended breastfeeding etc......actions speak SO much louder than words and have a profound and lasting effect on the psyche. There is no doubt in mind that Finn now knows what it is to give birth naturally - Eden's birth will forever be his first point of reference and for that I am eternally grateful for having the opportunity to birth in the way I did.

You are truly an amazing woman!

Thankyou for your kind words Cherise.....but you know - you are ALL amazing women!!!!

[moo]

Thankyou for sharing another wonderful story, Melinda.