Bonny's Birth...birth photo's attached

[jarrahsmumma]

A lesson in patience.

Two weeks had passed since my official “due date”. I wasn’t too concerned I knew babies come in their own time. I felt like everyone around me was more anxious for this baby’s arrival than me. Partly I was nervous about handling two children and also breastfeeding, as I had had many troubles with Jarrah and the pain of not being able to breastfeed was still quite raw in me.

I had some checks at the major birthing hospital in Perth, all came back positive. The lovely nurses assured me baby was doing well and there were no problems inside. Excellent I thought. The doctors and registrars where a different matter, they were pressuring me into an induction. This was at 10 days post dates. The said “you do know your baby has a 1 in 1000 chance of being stillborn” in my mind I thought “what a load of crap”.

On my 23rd birthday (coincidently 14 days postdates) I went into labour. My midwife had given me a stretch and sweep the night before, which I am unsure if it affected my labour or not. At 1am I awoke and felt a little trickle and mild contractions started after that. A buzz of excitement went through me. ‘Finally!’ I thought. A felt relieved that I would not have to face doctors on the Monday. Contractions where on and off, but roughly 5 minutes between and very mild. By 5am I had fallen asleep on the birth ball. When I awoke at 6am contractions had stopped. I still called my midwife and let her know what was happening. I called Jarrahs support person, Melissa. I felt ready to share my birthday with my little one.

My contractions lacked the same intensity as my previous labour. They came in waves, so three or four consistent contractions, and then nothing for 20 mins. It was frustrating. By midday they had stopped completely. I had been walking, keeping busy and focusing on “my lotus flower opening” each time I had a contraction. I was trying to let go of my fears and apprehensions about the pain of the labour. I felt I was in a really good headspace. I went to lie down and rest as I thought this would help me later on.

When I awoke. I was so sad that no more contractions had happened. I went and saw Melissa and my husband Steve, who were sitting outside. I cried and cried. I wanted so badly to see my baby. I wanted to deal with the birth and get started with the next stage, breastfeeding, which would be my major hurdle. I was pretty low.

By 4pm I was getting a few more contractions. Still leaking fluid, as I had been all day.

At 7pm my midwife came to do a trace. I had three strong contractions while the monitor was on. We discussed what would happen if there were no progress by the morning. As I had refused Strep B swabs unless my waters had broken and labour had not started within 24 hours. My midwife said she would probably be inclined to go to hospital with my and have to have an induction or at least some monitoring to see what was happening. Deep down I knew this would not have to happen.


By 9pm my 2-year-old Jarrah was ready for bed. Steve did the honours. I kissed Jarrah goodnight and I felt so sad that this would be the last time I would hold just him, just be HIS mumma and be able to give all of me to him.

Melissa and my older sister went out to get some dinner. This gave me time to centre myself and prepare my birth space. Strangely I felt I needed silence and turned off everything, no TV, no music just a dim lamp in the corner of the room. Different to Jarrahs birth where I needed the music to help me focus. I spent about 30mins alone while Steve settled Jarrah. I had a few strong contractions while he was away.

At about 10pm my sister and Melissa returned. My contractions had increased dramatically. I asked Steve to fill the pool. He was reluctant, fearing labour would slow if I hopped in too early. I was adamant I needed the water. So Melissa and Jayne, my sister, filled the pool as Steve supported me. I would not let him go. I needed only him to be with me constantly.

My midwife was called and arrived soon after. I was feeling excited it wasn’t going to be long now. The contractions seem to double in intensity each time. I was fearing the next contraction at times, but knew I couldn’t I would chant in my head. Surrender to this. Not long til I see you. I CAN do this. I surrender. Trying to let the contraction wash over me like a wave. I visualised the waves I had sat with the prior days at Cottesloe Beach. I remembered watching them rise and fall. Crash onto the sand. Wash back into the ocean again.

Throughout my labour I felt the thoughts and wishes of a few very special NP mum’s and kids. I thought of Fay (fayble) and her kids. I thought of Laura (la) and her girls and I thought of Nikki (mummy-2-2) and her kids. I don’t know why these three mums kept returning to my thoughts. But there you were.

At times I felt I could not go on. I felt like I was getting nowhere. I writhed through the pool. Rolling onto my back to relieve some of the pressure and making contractions less intense. Unfortunately this turned bub posterior. My mind filled with fear. Oh god not posterior. I quickly flipped over and got onto my knees and leaned against Steve. The contractions where so intense in this position but I knew I had to stay upright.

Occasionally I would scream and loose control of my birthing song. Melissa was always there to help me sing the best way. She led me with deep tones and I followed. Once I could control my song I could control my breathing and the pain would diminish. So on and on we sang, into the wee hours of the morning. My birthday had passed; it was time for a new birthday.

I started to feel the pushing urge. I wanted to push but my midwife was hesitant. She asked if I would like a VE, I agreed. She stated I was 6cm. My heart sank. NO! My head screamed. After all this work, no I have to be more than that. Why did I need to push so badly, if I was only 6cm! Memories of Jarrahs birth came back. I was 5 cm when I hopped in the pool with him and he was born 4 hours later. I couldn’t last another 4 hours.

The midwife recommended I hop out of the pool and try a few contractions standing up. The thought of that pain was almost too much, but before I knew it, I was hopping out of the pool I and diving for Steve’s arms. Beyond my control, something took over me and pulled me out of the pool. I had two contractions in Steve’s arms. I sat on the bed between contractions and negative thoughts started to pool. You need drugs, You can’t do this anymore. Get to hospital. Help me. I am not sure if I verbalised any of this but it sure was strong in my head. I now know that this was just transition and completely normal.

I lay back on the bed and contracted once more. I suddenly felt baby low in my vagina. What, I was only 6 cm a few minutes ago! I can’t push. I was trying to fight my body, but couldn’t win. The pushing urge rippled through me. Baby was coming. I felt the head coming out. The midwife asked if I wanted a water birth. I had one more land contraction then jumped quickly back into the pool. Steve moved to the business end. My sister was at the top end. Melissa stayed quietly in the shadows, taking the few precious photos that I will cherish forever.

I felt baby coming. Oh god it stung. Baby will be here soon. I reached down and felt the head. Amazing, something I was too scared to do last time. Such a slippery head. The pushing urge was intense. I tried to slow myself down; I did not want a tear. The urge was too strong I had to push this baby out. So I pushed and it stung. I thought I have torn for sure. Head was out. I felt baby sit there for just a moment, then pushed the body out. I swung my leg over and up baby came into my arms. Steve jumped in the water. I held baby up to my chest. So slippery. I loud wail and baby was bright pink. What a head of hair too. I then remembered to check the sex. A girl! I was certain I was having a boy. I could not believe I held our new baby GIRL. There she was Bonny Daisy. So tiny and new.

We lotused for a few days until the cord became awkward for us both to breastfeed. The time where she was attached to the cord was so special it felt like our last few moments as one.

When Jarrah awoke that morning, he had slept through it all, he came into our bed. Climbed up to see me and realised there was a baby. “Baby” he said, then looking at my tummy “Mumma’s baby”. This was the icing on the cake. I introduced him “this is your new baby sister Bonny”. Jarrah smiled “Bonny”. He lay next to her and looked at amazement at his new baby sister. He lifted the blanket covering her and tucked him self in beside her. “Jarrah tuck, Bonny tuck, Mumma tuck”

Just perfect.
The photos....
#1 How i spent my 23rd birthday
#2 Bonny's head coming out
#3 Midwife Steve helping out
#4 Ahhhh baby

[kermi]

Beautiful birth experience Natalie and beautifully told.

Thank you for sharing...

[mammadyl]

Thanyou for sharing Natalie. Jarrahs comments made me cry :') How very special and what a birthday for you!!!

[~Harmony~]

Oh how lovely I had a snuggle moment in bed with my girls this afternoon, Hannah told me that Abby and I were her best friends

Thanks so much for sharing this with us

[gumbymumma]

Oh, how beautiful! I feel privileged that you thought of me in such a special time! I would be proud of a birth like that

Jarrah is such a sweet boy, congrats again, on both him and Bonny!

[LibbyK]

Beautiful. What fantastic photos.

[thew]

What a beautiful birth, thanks for sharing your photos.

[Himawari]

Congratulations Natalie and Steve on a beautiful homebirth! Thanks for sharing your gorgeous photos, which together with your words are deeply moving.

[~Lynda~]

Jarrah's comments made me cry too. What a sweet heart.
Thank you for sharing Bonny's story with us Natalie.

[Viola]

Beautiful story!!

Thankyou

Viola