Ruby's birth story...go get a cuppa...

[hlbfly]

After some horrible weeks of morning sickness I started to really enjoy my pregnancy and especially pregnancy yoga. It was good to feel so flexible and prepare my body for what it was going to do. I learnt a lot about fear, pain, ‘letting go’ and what my body will actually be doing when I went into labour. Like all pregnancy yoga students I was shy about using my voice in class when we were asked to vocalise during yoga movements, but now I know just how important that is!

I was lucky enough to be allocated a place at the RBWH Birth Centre. My appointments at the birth centre were great and my midwives were so calm and reassuring in letting me know that everything was perfect. The lack of fuss over me and Ruby was exactly what Ineeded to help me understand that my pregnancy and the birth was something that my body knew how to do.

All these things, plus lots of reading and thinking about pregnancy and birth all over the world contributed to a massive change of thought in me towards the end of the pregnancy – I stopped stressing about stupid little things that go on in daily life. I developed absolute faith in my body and mind and the ability to give birth to my baby. I knew what my body would be doing when I started to feel the pain of child birth, and what would help me to progress well in my labour, and that being fearful, and not ‘letting go’ would hinder it.

I woke up at about 7am on Saturday 7th October and while lying in bed, felt a little pop in my belly somewhere. I wondered if it could have been my waters breaking but didn’t give it too much more thought, and got out of bed a little while later and found there was a little trickle of fluid that appeared on the wooden floor! I told Nat and waddled off to the bathroom. We gave our midwife a call to let her know what was happening. I got on with whatever was happening that morning – breakfast, tidying house etc. Nat’s parents came over to put up some shelves and hooks in the babies room. I sat on the fit ball and worked on a jigsaw puzzle and focussed on staying relaxed and happy. I started to notice little belly cramps every now and then. Nat’s dad wanted me to go and tell him where to put a shelf on the wall and I had to get Nat to make the decision because my head was in another place. I couldn’t deal with the shelf decision! Nat’s mum made me the yummiest chicken sandwich and had put a gorgeous bunch of home grown flowers on the table; they looked and smelt even more beautiful than normal that day.

After they left the contractions started to become more regular – someone had told me to try to imagine them like rushes of energy, rather than ‘contractions’ – this really helped too. I had a good position on the fit ball leaning over the lounge. Nat was putting a heat pack on my back each contraction which really helped. We continued like this for the afternoon. I didn’t really want to know how far apart they were or anything like that; I just concentrated on what my body was doing. The intensity was building at a steady pace, and my hormones were responding perfectly to help me cope with it all. Nat let me know that the contractions were now regular and long enough to warrant another call to our midwife (3 – 4 mins apart, lasting about 30-40 secs). I was coping really well and began the conversation by saying ‘Nat told me I had to call you…’. she just told me to keep doing what I was doing and call when they were more intense. Nat had called my mum to let her know that things were happening and she came over and did a great job with the last few little jobs around the place that I needed doing – like vacuuming the car, doing the dishes, leaving Nat and I to work through the contractions. She took over when Nat needed a break. Nat and mum stayed quiet and just tended to my needs. I didn’t pick up any worried or anxious vibes from either of them and they didn’t fuss over me at all. They were perfect. I hopped in the shower a few times, but was too worried that we would run out of water to enjoy it! I mostly stayed on the fit ball, now leaning over the bed, or standing, leaning forward with my head resting on a pillow in the corner of the room for balance. The lights were nice and low and I had the double doors open on to the veranda with the curtains closed picking up the breeze. I was vocalising through each contraction now. I used low tones and was conscious of not dreading or fighting the next contraction, and not using, or even thinking the word ‘no’ or ‘ouch’ or anything like that. I thought ‘open’ to help my cervix to thin and dilate, and my body to open up to let my baby out. It worked perfectly. I’m not sure what the neighbours thought, they are usually on their back veranda of a Saturday night, but they weren’t this Saturday night! Nat’s dad’s old red kelpie, Ziggi, was staying with us. She had made herself comfortable near me, along with our dogs Magee and Ed. Magee – who is usually very sensitive to any unusual sound in the house – even when we cheer at the football on TV – was silent. The 3 of them just lay around and watched me. I remember looking over at Ziggi during one contraction and the grey fur on the tips of her ears was glowing white.

Things started to get more intense about 8pm and I wanted to go to the birth centre. I was ready to use their shower and the birth pool. Nat got the midwife on the phone who then spoke to me, she asked me to try for another hour at home, she then wanted me to put Nat back on the phone – I remember saying “OK” in a voice that was way too cheery. I knew I wasn’t close enough to go in to the birth centre; I still had some ‘at home time’ left in me. I didn’t know this until after, but mum was mouthing behind my back to Nat that she didn’t think I should go in yet either! I’m so glad she had attended a few appointments, and the labour classes with us, as well as read all the books that I had passed on to her, it would have been quite unsettling if she was nervous about how long we were staying at home.

After another hour I was really ready to go in to the birth centre, it wasn’t a matter of calling our midwife and asking her, it was now time to tell her I was coming in. Nat did this and our midwife agreed that it was time; she didn’t ask to speak to me.

We pulled up at the front of the hospital and I stumbled out of the car in my dressing gown and headed to the door. We walked in to the birth centre and I walked straight past our midwife into the room that was ready for us. I headed straight for the shower and was getting cross that it took so long to get nice and warm, but it eventually did and I stayed there for the next 40 minutes. I can’t remember seeing or hearing my midwife at this stage, but Nat assures me she was there, keeping an eye on me and reassuring me that things were going well. Nat held one shower on my back and I had the other on the front. It was getting harder and harder, but I kept breathing and being noisy. I remember my midwife popped her head in and told us the bath was ready. Before I could use the bath Nicole needed to palpitate my belly to see where the baby was, and I had to lie on the bed for this. This was the worst pain so far. I could not have managed to stay there one second longer than was necessary for her to do this. She said Ruby’s head had disappeared completely into my pelvis.

Once in the bath it seems that almost instantly I entered transition. I was told afterwards that my mum was asking me where on my back I wanted her to pour the jug of water she had –this was the exact time I managed to blurt ‘In my bottom!” because I had just began to feel the urge to push. Nat tells me that the look on mum’s face was quite funny – how would she get the water in my bottom?? I can remember looking over at my midwife and letting her know that things were getting a bit different now! It happened so quickly once I was in the bath. It was a very strange sensation. Our midwife told Nat that she needed to hop in the bath now, as Ruby was very close. I could hear other noises going on in the background that also indicated our midwife was preparing for Ruby’s arrival, so that was exciting. Nat sat on the pool ledge and I rested my head in her knees and held on to her around her waist. The noise I was making through contractions / pushes were different now –they hurt my throat. Midwife said that if I could, I should try to not make any noise through the next one, it might help me to direct my pushing better. I can’t believe I found room in my head to do what she said, but I did and it worked perfectly, the push was much more productive and Ruby started to make an appearance. I was in the pool for an hour, but it seems like only about 10 minutes. Ruby’s head appeared and disappeared a few times, and then stopped for a contraction, not moving back, I knew this was good to make sure I stretched nicely for her big arrival. Her head popped out next contraction. It was a very weird sensation with her body still inside me. Nat tells me that she managed to stand up enough to see Ruby looking up from under water, eyes open and blinking. She slithered out after that. I had to stand up out of the water almost straight away as her cord was wrapped around her and she was lifted out of the water by our midwife to untangle her, she was then handed through my legs to Nat I think, who then handed her to me. Our first cuddle was lovely; she was a beautiful red colour and soft as velvet. She started to feed after about 30 minutes and stayed in my arms all night.

The hormones that come in to play when you give birth without interruption, in a safe and comfortable environment give you the perfect dose of pain relief to be able to deliver your baby. I was left alone, not interfered with, or even spoken to unless it was to tell me I was doing a great job. It took all my concentration and strength but really, the way I gave birth is the easy way, it would be much harder in a hospital bed, with strangers around, lights bright, not really knowing what my body was doing, leaving it all up to a doctor I didn’t really know. To all the women who have done that, I am amazed at your strength. All pregnancies and births are different, medical help is there for when we need it, thank goodness, but if things are going smoothly, you are well supported and educated in the birth process you can do it without medicine.

To all those pregnant mums to be – I hope my story inspires you in some way. Be open to birth, don’t be afraid, learn what your body will be doing and work with it, not against it. Breath, make noise, enjoy. Enjoy your new life as a mum, a family.

The stats:

First stage - 8 hours and 45 mins (from 14:00 – 22:45 on 7th October)
Second stage - 1 hour and 1 minute (until 23:45)
Third stage - 50 minutes (until 00:36)

[spiralgirl]

its the second time ive heard that story but im crying again this time - beautiful! Your little girl is so clever to choose such wonderful parents

[Bronnie]

completely speechless!

[skn]

What a beautiful birth story! Thank you for sharing.

[possum]

Amazing

[~jane~]

An inspiring birth story! I will be back to read it again as my next birth gets closer.

[rebjm]

Lovely birth story. It's great when all the preparation and hard work pays off.
It seems to reinforce thoughts I have about morning sickness and waters breaking on their own. I wish I could go back and say "No I don't want my waters broken".I wasn't expecting to be scared into it by a birth centre midwife - or for the word "epidural" to be mentioned either.

[~Harmony~]

Fantastic!

[MammaRocks]

What a beautiful birth story Clair. it sounds like you had a wonderful support team there for you.
Thank you for sharing

[Hailstorm]

oh wow how amazing!!! what a wonderful story to share thank you so much!!