Did I need a c-section?

[bunty]

Did I need a c-section?

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I have been involved with this site for a while now and I have become more and more curious - did I actually need a c-section with Ethan? I have a feeling the answer is no .

Ethan was breech from 30 weeks. He didn't turn, and the OB was away for part of my pregnancy so he didn't offer to attempt turning him (which I'm not sure is such a good thing anyway). The OB convinced me to try for a vaginal birth. On his due date the OB performed a strip and stretch on my cervix (not pleasant, and without telling me first ) and said one way or another we would see this baby within the next 24 hours. He was worried that Ethan would be too big to deliver vaginally if we waited longer for labour to come. The next evening after a day of BH my waters broke with a gush like a waterfall. I went straight to hospital, and was informed my OB had taken an unexpected trip to Brisbane. I was given a different OB (one of three in Mackay) and he said he would give me until morning to deliver, then reassess. Through the night I was in and out of sleep. By 6.30 am I had an epidural in and was being prepped for surgery. Ethan was delivered by c-section around 7.30 am, weighing 3.93 kg. I am now beginning to think this was all unecessary. Was I duped?

[Eilleen]

Re: Did I need a c-section?

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Cherise,

I think in the end you are the best person to really answer that. Can you remember how you felt and what your instincts were telling you at the time? Was it the lack of consultation that makes you wonder if you were duped?

There is a site called Caesarean Awareness Recovery Education Support (http://homepages.picknowl.com.au/caressa/) I found it terrific when I was researching caesars and trying to understand why I ended up with a c/s.

There is also another site: www.birthrites.org with heaps of info on c/s and VBACs.

Perhaps it might help you to understand your condition at the time and then you can view your c/s in light of that. I know it really helped me to have a better understanding of my medical condition at the time of my c/s.

All the best in your search for answers!

[Lavender]

Re: Did I need a c-section?

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Thanks for the sites Eileen! I have been asking myself the same question Cherise. Good Thread!

Re: Did I need a c-section?

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Cherise... the same thoughts run through my mind every day hun.
I cannot say what was done to you was wrong or right, but maybe you can ask to view your medical records and actually go through them with your Ob, ask as many questions as you want. It's their job to give a medical debrief to anyone who wants one, so don't be shy!
Health and hapiness to you, hope you find an answer soon.

[Rach]

Re: Did I need a c-section?

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There is a couple of things that jump out at me that are just plain wrong wrong wrong... but as said by Eilleen, really only you can answer that question.

There is also Joyous Birth/Accessing Artemis which you can find by checking out Janet's signature (JCF).

If want to ever talk through anything, feel free to PM me and grab my number.

Re: Did I need a c-section?

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Also, birthrites here in Perth might be able to put you on to someone closer that can answer some q's, http://birthrites.org/

Hope you are ok. Chat anytime, or just PM me!
You know I want to be your "friend"! Heehee

[hanabi]

Re: Did I need a c-section?

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Cherise, things were definitely done during your labour without informed consent. In that respect you were duped.

But whether your breech baby could have been born vaginally with a good outcome - you may never know. You can make estimations but you can never know.

What was the nature of Xander's birth?

[BLUE]

Re: Did I need a c-section?

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breech baby could have been born vaginally with a good outcome

[kelli]

Re: Did I need a c-section?

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Cherise do you feel duped? If you don't then that is fine and if you do then only you can ask the questions and find the answers to change that feeling. You can't change what happened you can only learn from it. I felt very duped/cheated/abused/ripped off after the c/s with Beren, so many what ifs. With Nienna's I am fine. As a result of the first I was armed with so much information that I knew what to ask for etc, I had a doula and I know we tried absolutely everything before resorting to the c/s. Informed choice is the answer I believe. Anyway, you know where to find me if you want to talk

[BLUE]

Re: Did I need a c-section?

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sorry couldn't edit!
i agree with jodie that a vaginal birth may not have had a good outcome, and may have been more traumatic. who knows. below is a story that inspired me from laura shanleys unassisted birth site.

Sami's Birth
By Christina
There are several reasons why I have chosen to have an Unassisted Childbirth (UC). When my husband, Bassam, and I decided to have another child, I wanted to have a better birth than what I had with my first son, Mohammad.

I had a short labor with my first son, less than 3 hours. However, I had to argue with the nurses several time. There were two nurses who came to administer the IV. The nurses, one on each side, started getting upset with each other and ripping out the IV because the other one did not do it right. I was poked nine times, and it hurt! I had a bruise up and down my arm. The nurses would come and check in on me letting me know when I was having a contraction and when I was not as if I did not know what I was feeling. Finally I told the nurse that I felt the urge to push. She explained to me how she just checked me and I was only dilated to a three. She went on to explain how I would not have my son for another ten to twelve hours. Finally after five minutes of arguing, she checked me and I was dilated at a ten. The nurse then instructed me not to push and held my son in with her hand pushing on his face. I had to wait for the doctor to arrive, she said.

Throughout the entire experience the nurse was telling me how to breathe or when I should push. I was a solider taking orders. Earlier, I asked to be drugged for the birth. But since he was earlier than the nurse had expected, it was too late for medication. I was told that the medication wouldn't kick in till after I had my son. So there was no point to take it. Now looking back, I am thankful that I did not have any medication. After I had my son, he was taken by the nurse to get cleaned up. After a few minutes, the nurses put Mohammad in my arms. They gave me two or three minutes with him and then took him out for more tests. I wasn't even able to breastfeed my son until he was several hours old. The nurses were not kind to bring him to my room so I could see or feed my newborn son. Might I add, my son was completely healthy at birth. There was no need to keep him away.

When Bassam and I decided to have another child, we looked into having a midwife. Still there was no difference to me between a midwife and a doctor except that one is in the hospital while the other is at home. The midwife would tell me what I was feeling and experiencing, which is not what I wanted. One afternoon, I was complaining to my friend about my first birth and how I felt a midwife would be no different than a doctor. She told me how she had a UC with her last child. She had a beautiful birth and it was similar to what I was looking for. I realized that a UC was what I was searching for and what I really need. My friend gave me websites and Yahoo! Groups that support and encourage UC. I believed that I could do the UC because I knew everything I was feeling during my first son's birth, and without medication.

I went back home and explained the UC to Bassam. I think he probably thought I was crazy at first. I used every angle I could to make him think about it. I probably didn't have to try so hard, but I didn't want to risk any chance of him saying no. Bassam was willing to look into having a UC. We went to the library and checked out some books on the practice of midwifery. We started reading stories online about people who had UC and going through emails on yahoo groups. The more we read the more we felt UC was what we wanted. Soon I was pregnant and we were determined to have the UC.

Although we had decided that we were going to have a UC, Bassam still wanted me to go to a doctor or a midwife to get regular pre-partum and post-partum care. Fortunately, my health care/insurance provider offers Nurse Midwifes as a substitute for OB/GYN doctors. I found a midwife who I liked. She was relaxed with the fact that I was refusing almost all the tests and not coming in regularly for check ups. I started visiting her every six to eight weeks from my second trimester to my thirty sixth week of pregnancy.

June 3rd, I felt my baby Sami move for the first time. It was such a great feeling. Throughout the pregnancy, I would feel him moving and kicking around. A month or so later, I felt as if my son was going to pop his foot out of me. I started telling my friends: "I swear, one of these days that foot is just going to pop out!" It really felt that way whenever he kicked. I couldn't imagine that it would be any other feeling than the feeling of his foot kicking down. Little did I know I was going to be right!

I felt great during my pregnancy, and I was excited about having a UC. I worked on my house and did some activities that I loved doing. I would go rollerblading, rock climbing and biking. A few times I would take pictures and send it to my friends just because they thought I was nuts. The night before I had my son I took my older son for a bike ride. I did have some problems with my diet. I could not have soda, sweets and other types of food. I would get bad heartburn. My diet became very mild. I think I would have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes if I had taken the test. Both my mother and my sister have it during their pregnancies. I figured I just moderate my diet on my own.

I went in for the regular check-up at thirty two weeks of pregnancy. I told the midwife that I still felt as if Sami was going to pop his foot out. She did an ultrasound to see where he was and said that he was breech. She let me know that if Sami did not turn before labor, he would be delivered with a c-section. She told us she was not good with ultrasounds, but it was clear to us that his head was on top. We had initially thought he was a butt breech baby. The midwife gave us a few exercises to try and had me come back at thirty six weeks to see if he had turned his head.

I went in at thirty six weeks. I knew Sami had not turned yet, I could still feel him attempting to get his foot through. The midwife did another ultrasound and sure enough his head was still up! So the midwife informed us she could no longer see us and that we had to go to a doctor now. Breach babies cannot be delivered by midwifes. That's the procedure of our health provider. She also gave us a slip to go and get a "tummy twist procedure." My husband and I told her, on the previous visit and this visit, repeatedly that we were not interested, but she would not drop it.

We went to the doctor who was going to perform the tummy twist procedure. The nurses asked me to strip and prepare for the procedure. No one had yet even explained to me what the tummy twist involved. Of course, my husband and I knew already because we researched it on our own. We told the nurse that we were not going to do the procedure until someone told us what it involves.

The doctor finally came to talk to us. He looked very tired. He needed lots of sleep. He said that he was dealing with a tough delivery. If he was a friend visiting my home, I would not have allowed him to drive home in fear that he would fall asleep at the wheel. Needless to say we really didn't like the doctor. He still managed to explain to us the tummy twist procedure. It is very risky. The placenta could separate. The water bag could break. And above all, there would be stress to the baby. In fact they are prepared to do a c-section right there in case anything goes wrong.

We thanked the doctor for explaining it to us and were ready to leave. He asked us how we plan to have the baby and we answered: "Naturally, breech or not." And Guess what! He is the only doctor among our health providers who would deliver a breech baby with the condition that the baby is coming out butt first. Unfortunately, he doesn't like to deliver breech babies anymore because of the liability. And he might still do it only be if he was working at the hospital when It is time for my baby to come out. That doctor would not come in just to deliver a baby breech. The doctor present in the hospital at that moment would have to deal with me and then it will be a c-section. None of this matters to us. We were still determined to have our UC homebirth. We were just trying to show the health provider that we were doing almost what they want.

At thirty eight weeks, I went to the OB/GYN doctor who was referred to me by my midwife. Surprisingly, she was not only an OB/GYN doctor but also the health provider's Chief OB/GYN of the entire San Francisco Bay Area. Previously, I told the midwife I was planning to have Sami vaginally, whether he is breech or not. As a result, this chief doctor set aside an entire hour to discuss our options because a breech baby is a huge problem for my pregnancy. She wanted us to have a planned c-section right away, backing her recommendation with lots of serious risks associated with breech deliveries. I asked her to explain the difference between a planned c-section and an unplanned one, which is a c-section during natural labor at the end of the pregnancy term. She said that they would be prepared with the best of their resources for the c-section with the best relaxation and concentration from the doctor and the patient. That way, they would reduce the risk to a minimum.

On the other hand, an unplanned c-section would end up being operated at the end of the term, during labor, at an unknown time, and maybe with an unprepared staff and a doctor who has to rush in from home in the middle of the night. To us, it seemed that it's basically a convenience and liability issue for the health provider. The doctor agreed and added that they don't have full staff during the night. She also explained how dangerous a breech delivery is. She used as many scare tactics as possible. She stated that her doctors don't want to deliver a baby breech because of the high risk, and that no doctor wants a baby to die in their hands. I asked her if her doctors are incompetent. She didn't answer that question. Instead, she went on to explain to me how Sami could get his head stuck by his ears! She gave my family a visual to show us how he could come out, how the ears could not be able to pop out and how that could get him stuck in me. At the end of her lecture, she said that the hospital would have to deliver me vaginally if I continuously requested it. However, she emphasized that I should not do this to the doctors because they are not that much experienced in vaginal breech deliveries.

I asked the doctor if she was going to do an ultrasound because we enjoyed having ultrasounds to see Sami. She thought that I wasn't going to let her do that since I refused the tummy twist procedure. She wasn't even going to offer it. Eventually, she did the ultrasound. And guess what we saw? We saw a foot pushing on the cervix from the inside towards the birthing canal. At that moment, the doctor said that this changes everything. There was no way we could deliver naturally. She explained that there were more risks and complications in a footling breech than in a butt breech.

Knowing all of this, we said that we want to wait until the last possible moment before choosing between a c-section and a vaginal delivery. That way, we were giving Sami time to turn out of his breech position if he wanted to. Of course, all of this didn't matter. We were just buying time and keeping the doctor away from realizing that our real plan was to have an unassisted childbirth for our son at home.

My family and I left the room laughing and shaking our heads. It was just unbelievable that a baby would hang by his ears during delivery.

Still, I was nervous about having a breech delivery. After I found out that my baby was breech at thirty two weeks of pregnancy, I logged on to the UC Yahoo! group and asked the other members of the group about their thoughts. I also did a lot of research on having a breech delivery. The more I read and heard about UC the more I realized that if I didn't have a reason to have a UC before, I surely do have a lot of reasons now. There was no way I was going to let the doctors cut me open! The Yahoo! group was very supportive, and the stories I read raised my confidence level. I knew we could do this. It was Bassam's job to learn the complications of breech presentation and how to handle them. He felt confident that he could deliver a breech baby and believed that it is no different than a vertex baby.

Bassam and I felt that Sami was breech for an undetermined reason. We thought that even if we managed to flip him by conducting some exercises or the tummy twist procedure, he would go back to his comfortable breech position. Moreover, the exercises and the tummy twist procedure might prove to be harmful to his health during and after pregnancy.

I went back to the OB/GYN doctor at thirty nine weeks of pregnancy. I knew Sami had not turned; I was still feeling his foot pushing down at the bottom of my belly trying to come out. The doctor did an ultrasound and confirmed that Sami's feet were still at the bottom. Positively though, the doctor pointed out that Sami's lungs were contracting in an attempt to breath. She said that was better than seeing the heartbeat in the ultrasound. It's a very healthy sign. Sami was practicing breathing outside my body ounce he's delivered. We were able to get a glance of my file as she was updating it. She managed to write over a page about our previous visit. The doctor was nice to us this time and did not give us any problems or lectures. She thought we were going to give her what she wanted. Obviously, she doesn't know us well.

My next appointment with the OB/GYN doctor was November 28th 2003, the day after Thanksgiving. When the doctor's office called to confirm the appointment, I cancelled it. I wanted to go out and do some shopping the day after Thanksgiving sale. I also didn't want to go back to the doctor anymore. I really didn't see a need for it. I knew Sami was going to be stubborn and not flip before his birth.

I really hoped for Sami to be born on Thanksgiving Day. I thought it would be great to have a turkey baby, and it would coincide with Eid El Fitr, which is an Islamic holiday that comes immediately after Ramadan, the month of fasting. Sami's due date was November 26th. Because Bassam's employer had planned to relocate to Reno, we were scheduled to be in Reno the 26th through the weekend to close on escrow there. Thank God that the employer decided to stay in San Francisco. We could have ended up having Sami in a Reno hotel.

Thanksgiving day, I went and got the newspaper and plotted my shopping route for the next day. In the evening, I called my good friend Connie and complained that Sami wasn't coming anytime soon. Knowing my luck, I remember telling her that he would come the next day and spoil my shopping spree. Of course, I was just kidding about being upset of him spoiling my shopping plans. Later that night, I was chatting online to my father-in-law (FIL). He is abroad. At 9:50 p.m., I told him that it didn't seem that Sami wanted to be among us for EID:

FIL (9:51:03 PM): hi christina
Me (9:51:14 PM): hi baba
Me (9:51:17 PM): no sami yet
FIL (9:52:00 PM): Will com soon
Me (9:52:07 PM): inshallah (God Willing)
Me (9:52:14 PM): I was hoping he come today for EID
Bassam had finished making dinner and we sat down to watch a movie together. At 10:10 p.m., I felt something in my lower abdomen. I asked Bassam what time it was and told him about the pain. It didn't really feel like a contraction. I felt the same thing twice again 10 and 20 minutes later. I thought this might finally be it. We turned off the movie and got our birthing bag out. In the bag we had a shower curtain, some old clean towels, dental floss, a sterilized scissors, and rubbing alcohol. I thought it might be labor since there were 3 pains 10 minutes apart, but the pain was not bad nor did it feel like labor. Bassam and I figured we needed to decide where to have Sami and to make sure that we had everything. We hadn't done this before and figured we should practice before I do go into the real labor.

At 10:30 p.m., we went upstairs to our room and prepared everything. We decided to have Sami near the bathroom. So we went for the vanity area. We laid down the shower curtain. I got the birthing chair and tried it in different locations on the shower curtain. We took everything out of the birthing bag and placed it on the counter. I decided to take a shower and see if the pain would become more or less. The shower felt good. Sometimes I would ask how long had it been since the last pain and other times I would say: "I think that was a contraction."

We wanted to keep my FIL, who's on the other side of the globe, up-to-date with what was happening in our adventure. We assigned few tasks to Mohammad to make him feel as an active participant in the birth of him brother. His tasks were to keep his grandpa informed of what was happening, to call our friends and inform them of my labor and Sami's birth, and to record the time labor and birth. Mohammad was happy to do these tasks for me. And he did an excellent job. The following is copied from Mohammad's chat session with his grandpa:

Mohammad (11:12:01 PM): hi!!!!!!!!!
FIL (11:13:24 PM): how are u
Mohammad (11:13:38 PM): good
Mohammad (11:13:49 PM): It Is Mohammad
FIL (11:14:32 PM): how ur mom
Mohammad (11:15:01 PM): Good----Ummm In Pain
FIL (11:15:49 PM): What kind of pain
Mohammad (11:16:15 PM): We Think Labor
FIL (11:17:00 PM): Good -------bassam there
Mohammad (11:17:21 PM): Yup It Is 11:17
Mohammad (11:17:37 PM): Another Contraction
FIL (11:19:13 PM): So u reedy to help ur mom
Mohammad (11:24:24 PM): Ya Just Did
An hour ad eighteen minutes after the first pain, I sent out an email to my friends telling them that we still weren't sure if this was it:

-----Original Message-----
From: Christina M.
Sent: Thursday, November 27, 2003 11:28 PM
Subject: this might be it

We are waiting to be sure before calling; you can reach us on the cell

After I had sent the email, we went for a walk outside. I felt few more contractions. Some really hurt like contractions. Others I couldn't decide if it was contractions or not. I had read a lot on the pain of childbirth and learned that most of the pain is caused by fear. And I believed it when I read it. I was also able to look back at my first childbirth and see exactly how fear had controlled my pain. I tried not to be scared when delivering Sami. At some moments, I was fine and just beyond excited about having him alone at home, and other moments I was getting scared about him being feet first. On every very painful contraction, I was thinking about the risks of having him breech.

FIL (11:43:08 PM): Where are u
me (11:52:00 PM): we went walking
me (11:52:08 PM): christina here
me (11:52:13 PM): I thought it would help
me (11:52:14 PM): it didn't
FIL (11:54:02 PM): So will see sami today inshallah (God Willing)
FIL (11:56:25 PM): I will be back
We came back in the house and I thought I would take a bath. I had wanted a water birth in the beginning of my pregnancy. I later changed my mind when I read few birth stories. I saw that some women were so set on having their babies one way that they jeopardized the health of their babies to have the birth they wanted. So I decided that I would be open minded and not allow myself to get disappointment if I did not get the exact birth I wanted. After all, my body will let me know what to do when it's time for it. The most important thing to me was to have a healthy baby.

While I was in the bath, I had few more contractions. Again some were strong, and some I wasn't sure about. I figured it wasn't labor since the pain was not much. However, while I was in the bath, my tailbone started killing me. I thought that this has to be real labor. It's no longer feeling like false labor. I felt bad sitting in the tub, so I got out. By that time, I was having bad pains at my tailbone that made me really hope that this is real labor and that delivery is very soon. I couldn't take it for a long time.

I went back to my bathroom, and all the sudden I felt something funny. I yelled for Bassam to come in and check me. I should have realized what it was. It felt like there was a water balloon squeezing out. As soon as Bassam showed up, my water bag broke. I laughed. I turned to Bassam and said: "This is it! I'm in labor!" Fortunately, I was standing over the shower curtain. I called Mohammad up so he could record the time. We were all amazed with how much water was coming out of me. It was like a faucet turned on high. Mohammad asked if I was peeing, and I explained that it was just the water bag emptying. I told Mohammad to record the time and to tell my FIL about the good news.

Moments later, I told Mohammad and Bassam I had the urge to push. I got scared for a second. It was too soon. If my body was telling me to start pushing seconds after the water bag had broken, I thought it meant I would be pushing for a long time before Sami was all out. Mohammad was born forty five minutes after my water bag broke. So I thought it would be another thirty minutes or more before Sami was in my arms. When I felt the urge to push, I dropped on all fours over the shower curtain and in the water from my water bag. I don't know why I got in that position. I had thought I would use the birthing chair or squat to open up as much as I could for an easy delivery. When the time came for Sami to come out, my body was urging me to be close to the ground and on all fours.

I didn't know where Bassam and Mohammad were when I went down on all fours. I knew they were in the room, but I had no idea whether there was anyone behind me to catch Sami or not. I gave a push and felt Sami's feet popping out. It was an incredible feeling. I gave another push and Sami's body came out up to his shoulders. It felt good to get him out, but there was one part still inside: his head. I got scared again for a moment. I didn't understand why he was not all out yet. During Mohammad's birth, he only needed one push. So I expected Sami to require the same amount of pushes. I told Bassam that I had to get him out now. I thought that I should change my position and stand. Bassam suggested the same. So I stood up, leaned over the sink and gave the biggest push I could have ever given. Sami's head popped out.

When I was leaning over the sink, I saw Mohammad in the door way. I did not know where he was until then. I wanted Mohammad to be there for the birth. It made me so happy to see him standing there so proud and full of emotions. His eyes were full of water. His smile was as big as the Grand Canyon. And his body was trembling with excitement. I watched him looking at Sami's head coming out. It was very calming to see Mohammad watching the birth. He was confirming my feeling that Sami was coming out fine.

Sami started spitting immediately when he came out. Bassam held him facing downwards and got all the mucus out of his nose and mouth. Sami cried a little. Then he was happy. He opened his eyes and watched us admiring him.

Mohammad informed his grandpa that Sami was finally here. He called our friends to let them know that Sami was here and that we were all doing well. I think he was quick on the phone because he didn't want to miss a moment with Sami.

FIL (12:31:56 AM): ya Mohammed where are u
Mohammad (12:37:57 AM): mama just broke water bag
FIL (12:40:38 AM): U must take her to hospital
Mohammad (12:40:42 AM): 12:40 Sami comes
Mohammad (12:40:45 AM): he is here!!!!!
The time between the first small pain and the birth of Sami was less than two and a half hours. I would say I didn't really believe that it was labor until the last ten or fifteen minutes before the birth. Maybe I was in denial. I don't know. It wasn't that painful the first two hours. I have had cramps worse than my labor pains. There was only three minutes between the water bag braking and Sami coming into the world.

Throughout the birth, the only time Bassam spoke to me was when he suggested that I should stand. This was along the path of everything we read about the best breech delivery. I, on the other hand, talked a lot. I was vocalizing everything I did. I think it helped me to stay focused, and I wanted Bassam to be ready to catch Sami if he flies out in one push just like Mohammad.

The labor itself was not painful until the last five minutes before the water bag broke. Pushing his feet and shoulders out did not hurt either. It started to hurt after his shoulders were out and his head was still inside. When I stood up to deliver his head, I gave a grunt and pushed hard. I tore when his head came out. The same happened with Mohammad's birth ten years earlier. Overall it was not that painful.

Bassam handed me Sami and I sat down on the birthing chair with him. Bassam got the dental floss and scissors to cut the umbilical cord. He made sure I kept Sami warm while I tried to breastfeed him. However, Sami did not want to eat yet. Then we remembered that we had set up the camcorder to record the birth. Even though it's too late to shoot the birth, we turned it on to record Sami and the scene. Bassam cleaned up while we waited for the placenta to come out. Mohammad and I talked about the birth. I was so proud of him for being there.

We waited thirty minutes before deciding that it's time to cut the cord. Bassam took the dental floss and tied it in two spots on the umbilical cord. I held Sami and watched Bassam cut the cord. Now looking back, I wish we had thought about this more. It would have been really neat to have Mohammad be the person who cut the cord. Bassam cut the cord and some blood splattered over Sami and I. We laughed. We were not expecting the blood to splatter on us. Bassam took Sami into the bedroom, cleaned and wrapped him up while I continued to wait for the placenta. Mohammad stayed with me, and we just talked about Sami's birth.

Waiting for the placenta drove me nuts. I was having what I would usually consider as contractions. Sitting in the birthing chair was not helping. After the cord was cut and Sami was taken to the bedroom, I was able to stand. I paced back and forth waiting for the placenta to come out. Mohammad kept me company while Bassam was with Sami. He laughed at me and said I had a tail between my legs. The cord reached to the ground as I stood up. It took almost an hour for the placenta to come out. This was the longest part of the birth. It was such a relief when it came out.

Now it was shower time. And it felt great. While I was in the shower, Mohammad watched Sami. Bassam started cleaning up. Afterwards, I took Sami downstairs. My friend next door came over to see our new family member. Sami was just two hours old. Our friend went home after an hour of visiting. And the boys were all tired. They all went to bed and crashed when Sami was five hours old. It was 5:30 in the morning. Since it is the day after Thanksgiving, I tried to talk Bassam into doing some shopping for the sales day between 5:30 and 6 in the morning. Unfortunately, he was too tired. But still, I couldn't sleep. My adrenaline was too high. I think I was still in shock and disbelieve. It was almost too easy that it seemed unreal. So while the boys slept, I started cleaning the house and doing the dishes. I knew I would have more visitors later on, and I didn't want anyone to see our dirty dishes. I didn't get any sleep the night Sami was born. That wasn't because Sami kept me up all night long but because I was just too excited. I tried to lie down next to Sami, but then I just wanted to hold him and talk to him. So I got back up and cleaned some more.

More friends came to visit by noon that day. Sami was a happy camper being held and loved by all. He opened his eyes all the time and was lifting his head up for brief moments. I felt great. I was still having small contractions whenever I breastfed Sami. But it wasn't enough to hold me back. When Sami was fourteen hours old and after my friends left, we went to Applebee's for lunch. It is right next to a shopping center. We were all starving. I took a picture of us in the restaurant to send to my friend just because she thought I was crazy for going out so early.

On the way to Applebee's, I called the health provider's office to make an appointment for Sami. I would have rather waited a week before taking Sami in if it wasn't for my dear husband and friends who would not let it rest until I did. The pediatrics clinic insisted that I take him to the hospital for both of us to receive a full postnatal care. I told them there was no need for that since it's been hours after the birth and we're both fine. I just wanted a regular health check appointment. So the lady on the phone said they weren't able to schedule an appointment till Monday, which was three days away. That was fine with me. I wanted to wait as long as I could.

After we had lunch, we went to Babies R Us to pick up few items. We stopped at few other stores in the center and just walked around. I missed most of the "Day after Thanksgiving" sale. So we went to Target for few more items.

While we were at Babies R Us, the clinic called again and said they could give us an appointment later that evening. We had to agree to take the appointment. I was somewhat disappointed since I really wanted to go as long as I could before going in. I also wasn't able to hit all the stores that were on my list.

Sami was about seventeen hours old when we arrived at the pediatric clinic, which turned out to also be the pediatric urgent care center. The problem with this is that you have healthy kids in the waiting room mixed with very ill kids. I did not like this at all. Everyone there seemed to know who we were. We were clearly labeled as difficult for the hard time we gave them on the telephone. They insisted on administrating all kinds of shots and the eye drops onto Sami. I refused the eye drops and they insisted on it saying that it was the law. Bassam let them do it as well as a blood test, which was attempted twice. And both times were not done right. So we delayed it for another day. Sami was finally weighed and measured. He was almost eight pounds at birth and twenty inches and three quarters of an inch long. We left with an appointment to come in the next day.

We came in the next day to have Sami be seen by a new doctor. Again it was clear to us that we were well known within the department. The nurse told me how she had heard of us not in a nice way at all. So I asked: "Exactly what does that mean?" She told me how she knew it was very difficult to get me in the clinic and that I was refusing to have my son be seen by a doctor. I explained to her that I never refused him to be seen. I just refused to go to the hospital. The doctor came in with an attitude as well. I refused earlier to let them take Sami's temperature through the rectum. So the doctor said that he would not see Sami until I let them take his temperature through the rectum. Again Bassam gave them the permission to do so.

During both visits, all the nurses and the doctors wanted to know who cut the cord. They even quizzed Bassam on how he knew what to do. And they asked him if he was trained on cutting the cord. To them, cutting the cord was rocket science. To us, it was as simple as cutting a string. It amazed us that they were more interested in who cut the cord then how we caught Sami and made sure he got out safely.

The doctor gave us the lecture on how risky it was to have Sami at home and how "lucky" we were that Sami was safe and healthy. When he heard that Mohammad had witnessed the birth, he was in shock and said: "No child should have to see that. How traumatic." I bit my tongue so hard and I didn't fight back. The doctor gave Sami a clean bill of health. However, he scheduled an appointment for Sami to have an ultrasound done on his hips when he's four months old. Apparently there are some complications that can hit breech babies in their hips.

Our next pediatrician appointment was two weeks later. This time I decided we would go to a different location with a different doctor. I was hoping to get someone who had not judged us already. And I was lucky. This doctor was funny. I don't think he believed our birth story though. He asked us where Sami was born. We told him at home. He asked if the paramedics were there to help us. We said no. He then asked if we called 911 to know what to do. We said, again, no. He asked Bassam if he was in the medical profession. Of course, we said no. So he asked if I hard training in Lebanon for this. We said no. He finally said that we were back to the Stone Age when people deliver their own babies in their own homes. Today, nobody delivers at home. We let him believe whatever he wanted to believe as long as it made him happy with us.

Sami received a ton of medical attention, but not me. It had been three weeks since his birth, and it seemed that my OB/GYN doctor had forgotten about me. I was happy about that. Unfortunately, I received a phone call from my doctor. At first I didn't know who it was because I totally forgot about her. But then I quickly remembered her. She told me that my midwife was asking about me. That made her realize that she hadn't seen me in some time. So she pulled up my chart, which did not show, three weeks after my due date, that I delivered yet. There were so many things I wanted to tell her at that time. But It wasn't appropriate. I wanted to tell her that, with all of the schooling she went through, she wasn't able to deliver my baby naturally while my untrained husband was able to do the job perfectly. I also wanted to tell her that my baby didn't get hung up on his ears. But I didn't say anything at all. I just told her it was all over before it started and we just never made it to the hospital. She let me know that, if I wanted, I could come in for a six week check-up appointment with my midwife. It was funny that she let me know I "could" because everything up till that phone call was I "had" to do. I think she realized I was going to do what I want and not what they want.

Six weeks after Sami's birth, I went to the midwife, not mainly for her to check me, but mostly to tell her the story of our birth. I thought she would be happy for us. And I was right. I was amazed on how excited she was to hear about our birth. She told me how proud she was of us trusting in ourselves to have Sami at home alone. We told her about the details of the birth but never admitted that we had planned this from the start. She told us that we did the right thing by doing nothing at all while Sami was being born. We found out in this visit that she does homebirths outside of our health provider group. I did get a physical check and everything was fine as I suspected. When it was time to go she gave us a big hug and again told us how proud she was of us.

When I first looked back on the birth, I couldn't imagine changing anything. Now weeks later, the only thing I wish I had done differently is have Mohammad cut the cord. Other than that, it was the perfect birth.

After going through this amazingly blessed experience, I can't imagine ever going back to a hospital to give birth to another baby. The differences between the births of my two children are like the night and day. After having Mohammad, I never wanted another child because of the pain I went through during his birth. Now I truly believe I can handle a dozen more births like Sami's. And I don't care if they were all breech. Reminiscing about Sami's birth makes me so happy. I like to remember how great and easy it was. I wish I had that with Muhammad's birth. I can't wait to do it all over again!


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