help or advice please.

[tarabear89]

hi all, im currently 17 weeks pregnant with my first child. i have no idea what to expect. many people have told me i should put together a birth plan but have no idea what to put in it..... people also tell me that i have no idea how painful it is.... is it really as painfull as people say? i have been think of having a c/section rather than a natrual birth... im a big sook when it comes to pain.... can some please give me some advice in regards to me... also i have been pigging out on really fatty foods. and i have read in magazines that u should eat a healthy lifetstyle for u and baby..... feel free to email regarding this...... i will be very appreciated... thanks!!!

[emd]

Congratulations! I remember being scared of the pain factor in my first pregnancy too. But I'll let you in on a secret: giving birth is a wonderful experience! Yes, it hurts - but so does running a marathon, and people still choose to do it. There are lots of things you can do to manage the pain without drugs, which means you will be fully aware of your baby's arrival into the world.

Have to run off to an appt, but I promise I'll be back later with some links and tips. Unless someone else here beats me to posting all the really useful stuff But in the meantime, check out the Pregnancy and Birth areas for lots of threads on natural pain relief, writing a birth plan, and getting into a good headspace for birth.

[Jawill]

Hello! I felt a little scared too! - but when I look back on my pregnancies and births they are the most ridiculously amazing experiences ever!! - nothing compares....
I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy!

[Dorasmum]

Hi, congrats on the pregnancy! Yes it's a huge learning curve to be having a baby for the first time. I remember how overwhelming it felt at times.

I'll tell you what helped me, what I didn't do for my first but did for my second and it made all the difference. I read books! Lots of books, went to the library, borrowed magazines, birth books, baby books. I wanted to understand the whole birth process and how my body worked so well to give birth to my bub. I learned to understand how to help my body give birth efficiently and comfortably. And you can learn this too. Ask lots of questions of dr/midwife or anyone else who you trust to give you the right information or as you have done on here too! No question is a silly question. Information will be your friend.

As for the pain, well yes it does hurt but not so much that you can't handle it if you are in the right environment and state of mind.

My way of looking at the pain was that normal pain -say when you stub your toe- is your body telling you that you are being injured, but childbirth pain is not an injury, it's a productive sensation that is bringing your baby out into the world. I tried not to regard it as pain, and it seemed to work for me

Something else funny that I'll tell you, I remember thinking after the birth of my first that contractions actually feel like stronger period pain, I remember thinking "how come nobody ever told me that?" I then thought "well silly me of course they do, it's your uterus contracting like when you have period" It just struck me as unfair that nobody told me.

You'll do fine, I'm sure there'll be lots of help for you here. As for the diet, yes it is important to have a healthy diet, as is good pregnancy supplements but I'm sure we all went of the rails a bit, i know I did. I seem to remember lots of cheese and lots of icecream at one point....

Em

[Tatyana]

Congratulations!!!! Sure you will happy in your borne baby, is wonderful to see new life come in this world and you give it. Actually I was not scared pain, I was want born, because was late for 1 week.
And how was told before is very good idea about read books for understanding what is happening with your body.
I was born baby not in Australia, and for me was big help to listen doctors and do all what they talking. Just be strong and not scared, you will have pain for some hours and then for all life you have happy moment with your baby, is not big price to pay for that. I wish you a good born!!!

[emd]

A couple of books that I think are really helpful:
New Active Birth - Janet Balaskas
Homebirth - Sheila Kitzinger
Both these books give a great explanation of how the birthing body works, as well as natural pain relief tips to help avoid the drugs (and the nasty side effects that come with drugs).

Something else to research:
Talk to the midwives at your hospital about what the standard policies are for giving birth, and why they have those policies. Then go home and do some reading on those things, and decide for yourself how you feel about each item. Ask about birthing positions, use of foetal heart rate monitors, time limits on each stage of labour before medical intervention will be recommended, managed third stage, babies rooming-in with mothers after birth. Ask what percentage of mothers have episiotomy, post-partum haemorrhage, caesarean birth. You may be able to download stats on some of these things from your state's health department website.

When I was preparing for my first baby's birth in 2004, I was terrified of the pain of birth. My mother was the only person who told me good birth stories (although I was scared of having a big baby like her second and didn't want an episiotomy). Everyone else told me horror stories, and to ask for an epidural.

By the time I went into labour with my second baby, I'd done the reading and research, and read lots of positive birth stories here on the forums, and most importantly I met people IRL who told me about their wonderful birth experiences. I went into that labour feeling much stronger and happier, and it made a big difference to my ability to cope with the physical effort required. I ended up having another CS after a long labour, but if I hadn't had the first CS I wouldn't have needed the second one.

If you go into this as an informed consumer of health services, you will be in a better position to tell the medical care providers what you want and why. Remember that you are in charge: your body, your birth.

[Nyree]

Another good book is Birthing From Within by Pam England & Rob Horowitz.

i have been think of having a c/section rather than a natrual birth... im a big sook when it comes to pain

Just remember, the pain from a natural birth usually only lasts a matter of hours (for most women). Recovery (and subsequent pain) from a c-sec takes weeks.

I had severe morning sickness (hyperemesis) with my DD and for a few weeks, the only thing I could keep down was KFC. I also couldn't tolerate anything even slightly resembling a salad. I just ate as well as I could, without obsessing over quantities of fat, protein, nutrients, etc.

As Emma said, have a look through the Pregnancy & Birth sections of the forum. There's heaps of info available for you

[justincredible]

as someone who's had both a c/section and a couple of vaginal births, I can say that for me, the PAIN of a caesarean lasts far longer, is far more intense and requires much more in the way of pain relief than a NATURAL undrugged birth.

Surgery doesn't = less pain .

Read lots, maybe consider hiring a doula. I would recommend contacting an independent midwife and discussing normal birth with them...

And fatty foods aren't necessarily BAD, can you try and make them good fats? Avocados, nuts, oily fish ... everything in moderation is the key.

[Marmee]

I agree with the other posts re: c-sections and pain. Not fun.

Your body was made to birth. Your body can do it.

Pain is only pain if you believe it to be. For me, there was no pain. Sure, there were tightenings and a huge load of pressure.....but I chose not to see it as pain.

All I can add is to surround yourself with people who view birth as magical, as beautiful and as the greatest gift to women. You may even find a home here on the Natural Parenting forums. Negativity and fear won't help you at all, will it?

Congratulations on your pregnancy and all the very best for this next chapter in your life. It's going to be beautiful

[Roopee]

Oh i could have written that post when i was pregnant with my first baby.
Dont you just love all those 'well meaning' people telling how much your going to suffer in birth.

It's not always true...sure it hurts and yeah, it hurts alot but there are many many many techniques you can use to minimise the pain and to allow yourself to focus on something else that may help reduce your pain levels.

I went into labour with my first and was 8 cms before i even knew it, and Im a big sook, so thats saying something. We all handle our pain differently and each and every birth is different.

I've since gone on to have 4 intervention, drug and stitch free births....no problems at all.

The only real advice I can offer you is to read read read and watch birthing movies to prepare yourself and arm yourself with all the information you can. Read some natural birthing techniques and just educate yourself as much as you possibly can.
Good Luck.