cant get midwife/doula Husbund ok?

tinygreenfrog · #1 (**permalink**) 09-01-2008, 02:11 AM

Im from ny state but we are living in Lithuania right now where my DH is from.

i can not find anyone alternative and able to do homebirth- and i wont do it any other way

this is baby #1 and i am active, healthy, normal.

any one done unassisted birth with first baby?

hanabi · #2 (**permalink**) 09-01-2008, 05:54 AM

It's not common, but it can be done. And if there is no respectful childbirth choice in Lithuania, then what choice do you have?

My concern for you is that your husband is placed in a very stressful and legally complicated position. If he has never attended a birth before, he may not recognise the various stages of labour on your behalf and transfer unnecessarily, or, he may lack the skills to identify when something is not quite right and assistance is necessary, or be prepared to perform first aid measures on you or your baby during or after the birth.

You could contact Laura Shanley via her website: http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/
She is most willing to explore UC territory with people who contact her and her network is world-wide. She may be able to direct you to European UC contacts who can help you out, or recommend midwives/doulas in your region or even in neighbouring countries. If you can afford to hire someone from outside, you may be surprised who will assist you!

Anyhow, I just wanted to assure you that it can be done and there are people all over the globe who can help you and your husband prepare. I wish you the very best and I hope we'll see you around the forum some more tinygreenfrog. Welcome to NP!

hanabi · #3 (**permalink**) 10-01-2008, 08:56 AM

Here is a great online prepartory Unassisted Childbirth resource. It is Australian, but I hope it helps lead you where you need to go.

http://www.purebirth-australia.com/p...for-birth.html

tinygreenfrog · #4 (**permalink**) 11-01-2008, 10:39 PM

Thanks for the tips- I will follow up those ideas

~sequoia~ · #5 (**permalink**) 11-01-2008, 11:06 PM

As Jodie said, there are quite a few women around who have birthed their first babies unnasisted. Check out the sites she mentioned. Welcome to NP as well.

Jamie · #6 (**permalink**) 12-01-2008, 05:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hanabi

My concern for you is that your husband is placed in a very stressful and legally complicated position.

I agree with Jodie on this point. Definitely look in to the Lithuanian laws relating to this.

tinygreenfrog · #7 (**permalink**) 13-01-2008, 09:40 PM

This is driving me crazy. The thought here is "home birth=death". I cant find anyone even willing to consider the idea. We are waiting on his USA visa and im in such a catch- i wont let him miss the birth of our first child- and i am so scared to go to the hospitals here- they are........... not nice. What to do what to do???

timestwo · #8 (**permalink**) 13-01-2008, 10:10 PM

How about getting some help from support groups in near by countries? Also you might want to check out this group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AP-Expat-Moms/
It's a group of Natural parenting Expat mums mostly living in asia however I'm sure a few of them might have some info on homebirth in Europe. Good Luck.

hanabi · #9 (**permalink**) 14-01-2008, 07:55 AM

You may also need to look into your child's future citizenship. Are you having pre-natal care and how will you record your baby's birth for local records and a birth certificate/passport for your baby?

Finally, I just want to add that with good nutrition and an active lifestyle, your baby and body will know what to do. Women have given birth in a coma. Childbirth is little more than an elimination process, if you want to think of it crudely. Assuming good health for you and baby and given the time and the right conditions to birth, your baby will come out without your conscious involvement. Are there any older women, experienced mothers, who would not bring their fear to your birth? There's plenty of information for fathers on the Purebirth website. Are you able to search the internet in the native tongue? You might find some small website or forum directing you to local organisations or individuals.

Glad you came back tinygreenfrog. Hope we can help somehow.

tinygreenfrog · #10 (**permalink**) 16-01-2008, 03:10 AM

Hey Jodie (and all)

thanks a million for the advice- its very helpful. I'm getting mixed reports- some say its not legal here to have home birth (was not for sure prior to 1992) doc is so firm i cant even talk with her about the idea. There are midwifes available for hospital only- and in one Lithuanian forum it is mentioned once and attacked by many.

So what to do? maybe pretend to be going for a hospital birth for the worst case and try and do a homebirth- see how it goes and if i need to transfer and say it all happened so quick? Any one know anything about these cases? They love to do c-sections here, and my prenatal appt have been HORRIBLE. Only other option is to go back to the USA with out my hubby- as his visa may not come for another 8-12 months.

Any thoughts on breaking the law...?