Some advice needed

[KellyJ]

This is going to sound pretty silly, but I truly have no idea where to start! I'm not sure if this is the correct place for it...maybe the pregnancy forum? Oh well...

Ok, so I want to have a homebirth (unfortunately I'm not pregnant yet :-( ), initially I wanted a freebirth but DH refused to agree to it unless there was a midwife present. My question is, when I find out that I'm pregnant, how do I go about receiving medical support?

Do I still see my GP first?
Is an OB still required in order to get ultrasounds etc?
Will these people treat me badly because of my choices?
How do I find a Homebirth Midwife? (I'm in Ballarat)

Ok, that was a mouthful, but any help would be very much appreciated!

[Meridith]

Hi Kelly

There is a BaBs group run in Ballarat by some lovely women - one of whom is a midwife who will be more than happy to give you more info on your homebirth options.

The BaBs groups are on Wednesdays at 10:30am in Wendouree at the Cooinda Centre. Feel free to email me for more info if you like.

[Bugboy]

Hi Kelly,

I have pmed you some info. But in answer to your questions. You don't have to see a GP (although your midwife may ask you to once you find one). If you choose to have ultrasounds a GP can write referrals for those.

You don't need an OB for anything unless you intend to have a surgery.

HTH

[Bronwyn]

Originally Posted by KellyJ

My question is, when I find out that I'm pregnant, how do I go about receiving medical support?

Depends how much support you want. Some women are happy to have their midwife as their sole medical support during pregnancy, as registered midwives have nursing training, plus specialist training in pregnancy & birth.

Originally Posted by KellyJ

Do I still see my GP first?

You usually need a GP referral & confirmation of pregnancy if you want to book into a hospital as a back-up.
But you can certainly see an independent midwife without seeing a GP at all. You phone independent midwives directly, and ask for an interview/initial appointment.

Originally Posted by KellyJ

Is an OB still required in order to get ultrasounds etc?

No.
But your MW probably will be unable to refer you, you'd need a GP referral, probably.
Many HB'ers don't bother getting ultrasounds at all.

Originally Posted by KellyJ

Will these people treat me badly because of my choices?

Sadly, some may.
My own GP refused care to me during my pregnancy, calling all homebirths "horrendous" and the local birth centre "the killing fields".
Some homebirthers choose to lie to their GPs, others find their GPs more or less receptive to HB and stick with them, and some go hunting for a new, more accepting GP.

Be prepared for some negativity. Especially from obstetricians, given their usually intervention-focused approaches.

Originally Posted by KellyJ

How do I find a Homebirth Midwife? (I'm in Ballarat)

There are homebirth organisations and social groups in each state. PM me if you'd like some URLs of websites. (You can also Google).

There's a HB support thread on the NP forums, but its been pretty quiet lately.

Bronwyn

[KellyJ]

Thank you all so much for your advice! I have a much better idea of what I need to do / where to start now.

I'm scared of facing negativity from doctors / possibly family, but that's nothing compared to my fear of hospitals!

Hopefully all will be well; I have a pretty laid back GP...

Thanks again!

[spiralgirl]

You have had some great advice here, and I just wanted to say GOOD LUCK!!YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

ANd Bronwyn - you need a new GP sheesh!

[jjules]

i wish you all the best with your decision !! i have contacted a doula to support me to labor at home. if all is going well i think a hb may be for me. we shall see. i havent told either GP or midwives abt my plans i dont feel the need to defend my decisions or have fear put into the equation.

[Bronwyn]

Kelly - A lot of homebirthers coming "out" to their families/GPs find their reception is better if they present their choice confidently, and prepared to back up their opinions with talking about research and statistics about the safety of homebirth. Demonstrate that you've thought seriously about your choice, and researched it.

There's a few standard questions/concerns you might want to practice answering, maybe roleplaying it out with your partner, so that you feel confident answering these questions when they come up.

"What if something goes wrong?!"
"Aren't you scared?"
"Is that legal?"
"What's wrong with hospital? Hospitals are why women don't die in childbirth anymore."
"Why on earth would you want to give birth at home?"
"What if you bleed to death, or the baby gets stuck?"
"Would you go to hospital if something went wrong?"
"Gosh, you're brave! I could never do that. My baby would've died if I hadn't been in hospital."

Tahne - I found a new HB-tolerant GP, eventually, after much hunting.

Bronwyn

[KellyJ]

Thanks Bronwyn,

I'm organising all of my research to better prepare myself for the questions I'm bound to be asked - I know at least that I'm 100% confident I'm making the right choice.

My mum had 3 C/S and I really don't know anyone who has had a natural birth, let alone a HB!!! So pretty much I think my mum would be like "why would you do that when you could just sleep through it?" Also 2 of hers were emergency, so this might worry her a little... I don't think there'll be too much trouble from the other side, FIL is a doc and knows how bad hospitals can be

My main problem is that I don't take criticism well at all, and am likely to get upset / defensive as soon as anyone says anything in the negative...oh well

I will definitely prepare answers for all the questions you mentioned; it might help to calm the nerves!