Big Kids and bedtime

[Marmee]

Just wondering, do you have a bedtime for your older children (say, school age?), do they choose their bedtime or do you tell them when it's time for bed?

And if your child chooses when they go to bed....at what age would you say this began?

What's the bedtime routine for your older children?

[mammadyl]

not sure what counts as an older child!! hehe, but my nearly 6yo goes to bed about 6pm every night - maybe later on the weekends.
The main reason for the 'early' bedtime is that he is up early!! and by 4.30 he is starting to wind down and by 5.30 is usually telling me he is tired.

As for routine, fairly flexible but generally we have lovely snuggles as we watch Antiques Roadshow () and then a story, massage and song while going to sleep. Sometimes we do a relaxation visualisation too. I either sit on the bed and hold his hand while singing or sitting with him, or snuggle in next to him if he asks...am trying to get more to the sitting as trying to gently move him towards him going to sleep without me as much mainly for when bubs comes...but he has also only been in his own bed since Feb this year, so no rush - I am more than happy to play it by ear.

his bed time might seem early to some, I have been listening to him, and watching his cues for years now and its what works for us. It doesnt matter what time he goes to bed, he's up at the same time...and he goes to sleep within 10mins most nights...

not sure if thats much help Marmee

[Marmee]

Oh - it doesn't necessarily sound early to me - I am sure we are going to get a good range of responses I'm just interested in other people's lives (nosey bugger!)

What time is waking up early?

[Marmee]

I should really answer my own question

We have bedtime at around 7.30pm for DS (7 years old).

Around 7.30 is when DS starts yawning, doesn't want to do too much and I just think it's his body clock telling him time to get ready for snoozing

Our routine is stories in bed, massage and singing, then our final goodnight song (each child has their own goodnight song, courtesy of their Mum ) DS then is left to turn his light off when he is ready - so he usually reads stories on his own for up to half an hour, but generally only around 5 mins before turning off the bedside lamp. Sometimes he even asks us to turn off his lamp before we leave.

Works nicely here.

[Jakaluma]

We don't have a set bedtime and never had. We are a "go with the flow" family, routines just haven't worked for any of us (okay, for the adults, neither of us can get the hang of them, and the kids don't seem to mind). So when the children are tired, they brush their teeth, get into jarmies and normally ask for a story and/or a cuddle (though sometimes just say night and take themselves off and ds1 reads them a story or they listen to a talking book). Sometimes dh or I prompt with a "surely it's bedtime" or "aren't you tired" or similar.

So bedtime is sometime between 7:30 and 9, depending on the day. Wake ups are similarly erratic, although 7 is considered a sleep-in by DS1 (he's normally up by 6) but ds2 can make 7:30 or even 8am occasionally.

[mammadyl]

Originally Posted by Marmee

What time is waking up early?

between 5.30 and 6am.

[GreenGully]

J goes to bed when he is ready - usually at about 8pm but often later if he is not ready. I am slowly letting him self regulate his sleep and food. We are at the point where he happily goes to bed at my suggestion, but only if he is ready (so I only suggest if I see his tired signs). I always make it his choice and he is the one who turns the light off once we are in bed and will often keep playing for a little while after I have closed my eyes. We dont have any bedtime battles at all now. I wish I had done this from birth. I don't' think it is ever too early to let them choose - they aren't going to sleep unless they are tired anyway. J is quickly learning the results of staying up too late (grumpy, tired day following). i had a bed time growing up and it was terrible. I was never tired at 730 and actually had a sleep disorder which messed with my sleep hormone so I would lie in bed until 1030 or later every night.

[sweetsugarsunshine]

my nearly 11 and 7 year olds both go to bed at 7:30 and read for 30mins - 1 hour.. and then I turn out their lights... on weekends and holidays we push it back to 8-8:30..
Honestly they are so tried and grumpy if they dont go to bed then, and they are very happy to do so, they will even go early so they can get more reading done - also they wake up at about 6:45 - 7 which I love as they dont rush the start of there day - they can potter about and have a decent brekky etc.

[hanabi]

DS is 8 and DD is 6.5. We aim for an 8pm bedtime because it is the mutually beneficial time for everyone, including Master 4.5 and Miss 2.5.

We have a brush teeth & toilet routine and then either the older two read books together while Master 4 settles himself (best self-regulator in the family) and I settle Miss 2 OR I read/sing to all four and we attempt a simultaneous lights out OR I do the bedtime cuddles all 'round and they each entertain themselves with a book and a torch until they need to sleep. They're all up between 5.30 and 6.30 most mornings with Mater 8 sleeping increasingly later.

We generally encourage lights out between 8-8.30 because all four share a room together and the older ones model bedtime routines for the younger ones.

[Oddy]

I'm not much of a routine person but I tend to see how they are and my dh works shifts too. Generally my 5 year old goes at 7 on a school night or thinks he's getting a treat if he's up until 8. My 12 year old depends on how much school homework he has. I have to tell them when to go or they wont go lol - we tried this in the holidays and my 12 year old was up until 2am before we finally gave in and told him to go to bed.